I Was Just Thinking

Baking Bread

2010-09-04T05:50:00.000-07:00

It was a absolutely gorgeous day yesterday. Perfect. Everything the weather could be to be ideal, it was - cool, breezy, puffy clouds, the smell of fall...perfect. Perhaps that was why my bread dough turned out so perfect!

Every Friday the Moodys have pizza - homemade pizza. About 4:00 I make the dough. I've gotten the recipe down so well I probably could make it in my sleep but sometimes I add a bit

too much flour and the dough is tough and doesn't stretch very well.

Yesterday, however, it was perfect.

Now I judge dough to be perfect when after kneeding it and balling it up, before placing in my oiled bowl to rise, I slap it and it feels like a 3-month-old baby's bum. Yeap, that's the test and I've had four babies and their bums all felt like perfect bread dough at 3-months-old.

When the dough rises it should have a look of clouds, like the clouds of yesterday: puffy, airy yet substantial. When you punch it down to begin working on it (after letting it rest for 10 minutes after the initial punch) it should be pliable - no tearing, no ripping but stretch where you want it to go.

The pizza dough cooperated, I think because the barometric pressure was just right. I was so impressed with this dough I decided to make 2 loaves of my new bread - Chai bread. Instead of just cinnamon, butter and sugar to add with a swirling effect I added cardamon, ginger, nutmeg and a pinch of black pepper (cracked of course).

Now Emma says I should use tea in the dough

(replacing the water).

I will try that next time.

And I hope the barometer is it its happy place!

Not looking forward to 2014

2010-08-30T06:52:00.000-07:00

Personally I am suspicious of this outlawing of incandescent bulbs and promoting of CFLs. Follow the money, I say. The disposal of CFLs is complicated and if not followed, which I think for the majority of consumers will not be, could have dangerous results (mercury poisoning in landfills). I may be buying my case load of incandescents sooner than later.

Challenging Words

2010-08-18T06:06:00.001-07:00

I read these challenging words today from here:

We cannot be happy without love, and to love truly, we must be free. The freedom that engenders love comes from one source only - total abandonment to the Divine Will. We must not only resign ourselves to the circumstances of our lives, but consent to them. By choosing our sufferings rather than just enduring them, we choose God's will for our lives, and He will be faithful to us.

This needs to be chewed over slowly, let it digest and fill me - consume me. These words ring true to my spirit - provoke and prod me to dig deeper.

Stop Playing at Church

2010-07-31T00:41:00.000-07:00

Here's another set of videos to watch. I especially recommend video 2 at minute 1:01:00

Michael Ramsden reminds recalls the persecution, torture, death of the prophets and lovers of God from the Old Testament and that it is happening today. The church persecuted is the church pure. He asks, "Are we playing at church in the western world? We need to wake up as a church, stop playing at church. We have to be prepared to lay down our lives for the gospel - that's what it means to be a christian."

Did you know that the root word for witness is the word martyr?

And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, 33who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, 34quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. 35Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. 36Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. 37They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— 38the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground. 39These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. 40God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

Is Faith Delusional - John Lennox (PART 4 of 5)

2010-07-30T14:09:00.000-07:00

Every night we pray God please give our daughter back the ability to feel pain before we lose her because she cannot feel it.

Pain in the inner man is a symptom that something is wrong in the inner man between us and God. God provides for us the help and sustenance and strength and in His mercy we in America are so blessed, we are turning against God.

If the physical symptoms tell us that pain is a symptom of something that's wrong I think we need to accept it pain in the inner man is a symptom that something is wrong between us and God.

Does the Bible Have Authority? In Your Life?

2010-07-29T13:27:00.000-07:00

Just spent over 3 hours watching a very helpful, challenging and inspiring lecture on the accuracy of the Bible.

www.cslewisinstitute.org/node/1099/play

Some finals points that stuck with me:

there are 2 types of people in the world:

1) those who seek God

2) those who seek to avoid God

and both will be successful in the end

a person can say no to the bitter end

Romans 1²⁴Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. ²⁵They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.:
He gave them over, chilling words - He let them have their own way

a person can say to God

thy will be done

my will be done

God will never violate the picket fence of our own unwillingness

Does the Bible have authority?

3 options:

No - sweeping rejection

Maybe - problems exist

Yes - complete acceptance

Our culture is denigrating anything having to do with authority

Bible is always counter-cultural

Expect it

Question: Are we children of our culture or transformer or agents in culture - what paradigm do I embrace?

Belief in scripture will run against the current of the time

Men of Issachar understood the times and knew what to do

Know your culture, know your calling - be students of the world, and leverage your culture for the gospel

We should be seeking to be winsome - build truth into people, best thing to do transmute the currency of temporal to the currency of the eternal

Basic issues of stewardship (time-talent-treasure and truth and relationship: Take the temporal (time, talent and treasure) to things that go on into eternity: word of God and people

"Our language lacks words to express this offense"

2010-07-22T06:31:00.000-07:00

My grandfather was imprisoned in Birkenau and released when his son, my father, could enter the German army.

This short film is important to watch, to remind us of our humanity, evil and innocent, and need for a Saviour.

www1.yadvashem.org/exhibitions/album_Auschwitz/mutimedia/index.HTML

Worship

2010-07-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

You may do it Saturday nights, Sunday mornings or Sunday nights but church worship, to me, seems like date nights with God. They are those set-aside times to focus, pay attention to the One I love, time to learn more about Him and extend my arms in Thanks and Receive more Mercy and Grace.

To worship in the everyday - not just on those "dates" - means to live into my new creation, as He is molding and shaping me. It means I respond to His Spirit leading me to a person, a service or time with Him. It sometimes means stepping out of my comfort zone and trusting He will give me all that I need for the moment. It is the time to build trust in my relationship with the One I love. Does my daily routine reflect my relationship with God? Can others tell I am spoken for?

Does this seem like a "girly" description of a relationship with God?

50 in 50

2010-07-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

AI turn 50 this year- half a century! (as my kids like to remind me ever so gently and kindly). It is knocking me around mentally and emotionally right now.

I am developing a list of 50 things I would like to do in my 50th year. It's growing, slowly. I've already accomplished one item - with the help (eager help, I must add) of our dear friends, the Bennetts. This past New Year's holiday I shot a .22 pistol and a 22 gauge shot-gun, because shooting a gun is on my list. Here's the rest. I take suggestions for filling up the remaining spots.

1. Shoot a gun

2. Visit Chicago

3. Have a pedicure

4. Have a manicure

5. Fly in a hot-air balloon

6. Buy an expensive wine (it's relative, expensive for me is anywhere between $20-30) and drink it!

7. Karaoke!

8. Dance lessons with Dave

9. Go to a movie alone

10. Go to a restaurant alone

11. Visit the wine country of Missouri

12. Teach Liam to ride a bike

13. Lose 30 pounds

14. Learn how to can and don't be fearful about it!

15. Quilt

16. Knit

17. Learn the bodhran (Irish drum, which I purchased 7 years ago with the intent of learning!)

18. Read all of CS Lewis' writings

UPDATE:

19. Smoke a houka - yes Rachel you have inspired me!

Changing from a Should/Have to Attitude to a Get to Attitude

2010-07-14T11:30:00.000-07:00

My perspective has changed. I can't tell you when nor how, but it's changed. I used to be the sort of person who looked at life as Shoulds and Have tos. This didn't make me happy. It made me bitter and isolated.

But something changed.

I started looking at our prayer/praise time at church as an opportunity, not an obligation or duty. Instead of hemming and hawing I said,

"I get to pray!"
"I get to converse with the Creator of the Universe!"
"I get to sit and listen to his Word read from brothers and sisters who love Him and desire His presence!"
"I get to wait on the Holy Spirit and briefly and finitely touch His power!"
"I get to sing praises, close my eyes, lift my hands and stand in awe and wonder!"
"What a privilege when many around the world are suppressed and oppressed. Many around the world can not meet in communion. What a blessing to have this time!"

I used to dread Sunday mornings. I used to heave a sigh, walk to church and anticipate---nothing. Now I say,

"I am sitting with others who love the Lord, through their pain, happiness, sorrow, wants, needs, plenty...they all love the Lord and depend on Him!"
"I get to recite creeds, sing songs which are ancient and new, Christians around the world are doing the same. God is building and encouraging His church and I am a part of it!"
"I get to hear incredible teaching from scripture. I am allowed to learn more from the Word."
"Many around the world have to travel, walk, miles and miles for their fellowship. I walk 20 yards!"

I used to grumble and complain about picking up after the family (OK! I still do everything now and then!) but now I mutter,

"I love this family! They are fun, for the most part enjoy each other and it is a privilege to have each person in my life. I am serving them!"
"I have my wits about me, strength in my arms and legs, my kids can run and scream and play and have minds to create--I am blessed."
"My husband is a servant and gives his all to his job and his all to his family and first his all to his Lord. He is a manly example of a follower of Jesus and I am so blessed to be married to him and allowed to serve him."

I still complain about Walmart but now I say,

"Thank goodness there is a market close by, I have funds to shop for food, clothes and other necessities!"

I will continue to complain about our government because that is my duty and,

"I am privileged to live in a country where disagreement and discourse are expected and that's what keep our country afloat."

Looking at my circumstances with a new perspective, a privileged perspective, reminds me how much I am blessed. Instead of bitter I am thankful and instead of wanting to sit alone I anticipate fellowship.

How's your perspective?

Sanctification

2010-07-11T09:23:00.000-07:00

After one accepts Jesus Christ as the Son of God, ones Lord and Savior - mediator between us and the Father - life is about sanctification. God loves us as we are, true but

He loves us more -

enough to move us into holiness.

Sanctification.

It means, like the smelter remove the gunk,

the goo,

the junk,

the trash,

the filth,

the yuckiness of sin which soooo easily keeps us down,

bound,

strangled and

hopeless.

He begins shaping and molding us into who He created us to be. That sounds like going backwards - what we were supposed to be? In the first creation. The original.

What wondrous love is this!

What wondrous love is this, O my soul, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this that caused the Lord of bliss
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul, for my soul,
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul.
When I was sinking down, sinking down, sinking down,
When I was sinking down, sinking down,
When I was sinking down beneath God’s righteous frown,
Christ laid aside His crown for my soul, for my soul,
Christ laid aside His crown for my soul.
To God and to the Lamb, I will sing, I will sing;
To God and to the Lamb, I will sing.
To God and to the Lamb Who is the great “I Am”;
While millions join the theme, I will sing, I will sing;
While millions join the theme, I will sing.
And when from death I’m free, I’ll sing on, I’ll sing on;
And when from death I’m free, I’ll sing on.
And when from death I’m free, I’ll sing and joyful be;
And through eternity, I’ll sing on, I’ll sing on;
And through eternity, I’ll sing on.

I am, when in my best, when leaning on His everlasting arms, so thankful that God is still working on me! He doesn't leave me bitter, jealous, insecure, shy, weak-willed, lustful, greedy.... He works grace, mercy, patience, strength in Him, contentment, dependence on Him into my skin and bones, into my heart and mind. It's not easy. It requires me to get down on my knees and say, confess, "I am wrong. Please help me. Lift me up. I give myself to You." That comes when the Holy Spirit overwhelms me with His love and assurance that this surgery is for my good. He woos me.

While on vacation I read The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis. A must-read. A quick-read. A deep-read. One ghost's story concludes:

"Have I your permission?" said the Angel to the Ghost.
"I know it will kill me."
"It won't. But supposing it did?"
"You're right. It would be better to be dead than to live with this creature."
"Then I may?"
"Damn and blast you! Go on can't you? Get it over. Do what you lik." bellowed the Ghost: but ended, whimpering, 'God help me. God help me." Next moment the Ghost gave a scream of agony such as I never heard on Earth. The Burning One closed his crimson grip on the reptile; twisted it, while it bit and writhed and then flung it, broken backed, on the turf.
"Ow! That's done for me,"gasped the Ghost, reeling backwards.

Read the rest to find out what happened to the Ghost and the reptile. It's, well, it sent shivers through my soul.

The Prophets of Old

2010-07-09T10:29:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about Elijah and the other prophets in the Old Testament. What a job they had!

They were God's mouthpiece speaking, in-large, to a nation which had turned their back on Him. The prophets pleaded, brought dead bones to life, threw off their clothes, dug trenches, ate what the birds gave them and still, it seemed, no one would listen. Their's was a difficult life. They knew what God had for their people. They had access to kings and queens and were often scoffed, ridiculed and threatened. But still they persisted. They had the word of God. They had the Spirit of God. They pled with God for mercy. And still the people turned away and worshipped what the other nations worshipped.

God didn't remove these men from their positions, authoritatively, spiritually, emotionally nor physically. God kept them there - for the people's mercy, for the people's sake. God put these prophets in a position which would harden their heads - foreheads of steel (because I am sure it felt like they were banging their heads against the wall). But God did not give up. He didn't pull His men out of reach from Israel and Judah. He kept these voices crying out grace, mercy and truth within ear shot of the rebellious. He kept them there so the wayward would see and know that He still pursued them, He still loved them and wanted them back in relationship with their Creator.

God does not give up.

We do. He doesn't.

What an example of patience!

What an example of love!

Doin' Some Introspection

2010-07-02T14:31:00.001-07:00

I discovered something about myself today, maybe uncovered is a better word. I like approval. I seek approval. I want people to like me. Not just like me but I want them to like what I like - to validate my preferences.

I won't go into the details how this revelation came about just to say as I was disclosing some deep feelings to Dave, talking through an issue, a lightbulb came on - I'm really bound up in this need for outside approval. And God, in His infinite grace said to my spirit, "It is slavery. It is bondage." I want to be free of it.

Instead...

...I want to walk confidently in who God has made me to be, not second-guessing His direction or how He's gifted me. I want to say no when I know a choice is not for me and not fear what others may think. I want to be focused on His will and not others.

I thank God that life's a journey - the time for sanctification, more time to learn and grow in His likeness, to grow in the new creation, to become who I was meant to be - the true me.

Super Easy Martha Stewart Project

2010-06-08T08:31:00.001-07:00

Do you like hats?

Do you like to sew?

Do you have a pair of jeans that 1) don't fit; 2) are stained or 3) have a hole and don't just want to throw them away?

Have I got a project for you!

Last Christmas I found this craft project of MarthaStewart.com. I loved it at first sight but didn't have the time to try it. It's been on my mind since then. When CSIProject.com invited folks to their Martha Stewart challenge I thought of these caps. But I didn't want to make a wool cap in the middle of Summer! Who does!?

We've been cleaning out closets and have a few pair of jeans and always in a recycling/reuse/reduce mode I decided to make the beanie out of jeans. This is SUPER easy - takes less than, well 20 minutes really and the cool thing about Martha's site - she has a video with the instructions showing you every step of the way. So...

...if you like hats...

...if you like to sew...

...if you have a pair of jeans you'd like to recycle (or any other fabric - one hat takes 1/4 yd.)

...try this project!

Being Martha

2010-06-07T10:57:00.000-07:00

Over at CSIproject.com this week's challenge is to create a "Martha Stewart" craft. Now when I think of Martha Stewart I think of: organized, good things, perfection, east coast, creative and monograms. Call me crazy but that's what comes to mind.

Another item: I bake our bread. We rarely buy bread in the store. The only problem (or used to be problem) was how to store these loaves of homemade bread. Zip-lock bags are too short. On the rare occasion I would buy store-bought bread I would save the wrapper and reuse them for the homemade loaves. A friend (over a year ago) gave me about 75 plastic bags for bread which she purchased for her daughter's bread making business. I am down to one. I went on line to order some more and then had an idea: why can't I make my own bread bags? So googling "sew bread bags" I found many ideas - some using new fabric, some using tea towels, some using pillow cases. I looked around to see what I had - tablecloths. I pulled out this linen tablecloth and cut in down to the size of my last plastic bag. Just sewed up the edges (I got 4 bags out of the one cloth) and left a 1/2 inch hem for the cord to close the bag.

Now how to embellish the bag...

Back to Martha Stewart and her monograms. I searched the MarthaStewart.com website and found many items which she monograms - bibs, glasses, pillows, frames...the possibilities are endless. I choose B for, well, Bread and Buns and Baking and Barbara! The first B I zigzagged stitched on was way to complicated, too many curly cues - not showing you that one. I found a simple B and blew in up to 650 font, laid it behind the fabric and pencil-traced it. Then with coordinating thread zigzagged stitched it on. Voila! Homemade monogrammed bread bags. No more relying on plastic. There's something homey and right about storing homemade bread in linen bags. Don't you think?

Getting Back to My Sewing Roots

2010-06-03T02:40:00.000-07:00

I used to sew a lot. Before I had kids. Well, I did sew some pretty dresses for Emma and some cute toddler pants for Ian. But that stopped. I have taken the practice back up when I craved some personalized, stylized, my-own-design-idea Summer tops. I have been in a sewing frenzy for the last month - 2 tops, 2 dress, 1 nightgown, 1 skirt and 1 purse. I'm enjoying this re-discovered creativity. It's a good outlet for me.

A couple a sewing fashionistas are hosting a sewing challenge which requires the item I just happened to recycle into a skirt for Emma and a purse for me - denim jeans. Here are my projects:

Emma and I were at Hobby Lobby looking for nightgown fabric. She noticed some material she really liked but their was just 1 3/4 yards. Not enough to make a proper skirt but I bought it anyway figuring I could make something with it.

Earlier in the week I was cleaning out closets and two pairs of jeans were packed and ready to be sent to the church's clothes closet when inspiration hit--I could cut the legs apart and use that fabric, sewn to the fabric from Hobby Lobby, to make a country-style skirt. I searched on the internet for ideas and found a free pattern at Burda.com

It started out as an 8-paneled, elasticized waist, gored skirt but the amount of denim made the skirt too bulky so I cut the denim panels down and made it a no-waist band, side-zippered, 8 paneled gored skirt. I serged the hem to keep that country look. It's perfect for the Summer, with a tank and it'll work in the cooler months with boots. I am please with how it turned out.

(This is where I found the skirt in my daughter's room, in a pile, on the floor! Are all teenage girls the same? I was!)

Now with the top part of the jeans I made a purse with left over fabric from a top I sewed a few months ago. I love this fabric. I found it at Walmart months ago and was determined to make something with it. I bought enough for a tablecloth (which I sewed up for our Easter table) and a top. I love these colors - they are so juicy!

The purse wasn't too difficult - sewed a panel on the bottom, a strap on the sides and a strap over the top to close. The front pockets are great for holding gum and my cell phone. It's very room. Very hippy.

CSI Project - Hardware Challenge

2010-06-02T15:50:00.001-07:00

Last November I had a hankering for crafts. It was the holidays and my mind and hands were busy, busy, busy. In the midst of all the Christmasy stuff I made an earring-hanging-display-storage-thingy. I had a frame, a baking rack and some really stinky adhesive. After 3-4 days of not drying and thinking I'm going to give my family brain cancer, I washed of the adhesive. It just wasn't doing the job. So instead I pounded in nails and bent them over the rack. I have a lot of dangly earrings and storing them in my jeweler box - well, they didn't display well. I really like this. Even Dave was impressed.

My other hardware entry was the rage over the 2009 holidays - washer necklaces. Several crafting blogs were posting the how-to's and there were even videos on youtube so I couldn't tell you where I found the idea or which blog I followed. Just consider it a conglomeration. So here's what you do: Go to the hardware store and buy yourself some big washers. I decided to make a bunch of these puppies and give them as Christmas gifts to the younger women in my life so I choose a variety of washer sizes. Next find some decorative paper and modge podge it on. I did both sides of the washer with complementary paper. Now make sure the paper is completely dry and them trim the paper back OR you can fit the paper to the washer prior to modge-podging. Either way works. Next you need to find this jeweler's glaze. They don't sell it at Hobby Lobby or Michaels. I had to buy mine of ebay. Just squirt the stuff on and let it set. Lastly you need to hang the washer some how. I used two styles, 1/4 inch ribbon and leather thong. A bead on the leather thong has a nice touch.

Now go over to CSIproject.com to see other cool hardware project ideas.
I know I was inspired!

Another Personality Test

2010-06-02T13:21:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how accurate these tests can be!
Testcolor : THE personality color test

Test color is the result of original research conducted and validated by a team of
clinical psychologists, psychoanalysts and mathematicians.
Test color can generate over 50 million different answers,
each one written by an artificial intelligence engine for every test
The Color Test was done 4102764 times, thank you for your confidence.

Result of your test :

Your results present a correlation ratio with our model superior to 97 % .
( In a general way, a result can be taken into account if this ratio is superior to 30 %.)

You are 39 % extrovert and 61 % introvert.

Independently of any order of importance :

You are able to have an in-depth thinking, you think before acting, and you know how to communicate your knowledge.

You are also imaginative and creative, you have always new ideas, and you know how to apply them.

Finally you are dynamic, your actions are only directed by your own will and you know how to lead people.
At first, at 37%, you are centered on your thoughts and your actions are determined by your knowledge and your experience.

Then, at a ratio of 35%, you are focused on the facts and on the reality, and your decisions are determined by your perception of facts.

Finally, at 27%, you are attached to moral values and feelings, and you have an emotional relation with the environment.

The Mystery of the Trinity

2010-05-30T07:08:00.000-07:00

The mystery of the Trinity - about the inner life of God - the intimate love and communion that is constantly flowing between Father, Son and Spirit... If it is God's nature to share himself, and if we are created in his image and likeness, it follows that we are meant to share our lives with each other. We were made to be in communion with one another, joining together to build the kingdom, and proclaim the gospel to all creation. [The Trinity] also gives us the power to live it!...if we draw from the love of God that has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit (And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:5)

May 29, 2010 daily reading from The Word Among Us (photo from flickr.com)

Is this not one of the best smiles in the world?

2010-05-29T06:55:00.000-07:00

from newsbusters.org

Reminder That Priorities are Important: Set Them Right

2010-05-28T16:44:00.000-07:00

Graduation%20Night%20-%20Moon%20over%20Yusufiyah

the Big Salad

2010-05-27T07:01:00.000-07:00

Through tanga.com I got a wonderful deal on a subscription to Family Circle magazine. I know, I know, a few blog posts ago I mentioned my general hatred of magazines (too loaded with advertisement and selling an ideal I can never attain causing perpetual jealousy and a general feeling of inadequacy) but this deal was too good to pass up (one whole year for $3.99!).

Anyhoo...

June's issue has some wonderful salad recipes - 25 to be exact and they are wonderful! Since Dave has been diagnosed with type II diabetes we've had to watch our carbohydrate intake - specifically simple carbs - breads, rice, potatoes. This has put a real damper on pizza night but we are adjusting. FC 25 salad recipes have been delicious, easy to make and delicious! Some of the ingredients are not available in our area so I substitute what I can. We especially love the asparagus-goat cheese-bacon salad. Oh, and the poached egg salad is mighty fine. Last night we consumed the seafood salad - again!

If you subscribe get to the store, get those ingredients and cook yourself a salad dinner. If you don't subscribe - get to the store, buy a copy of June 2010 Family Circle and then get those ingredients and...
Just thought you'd like to know!

My Favorite Things, Part 3

2010-05-27T05:28:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: I'm reposting this entry because, well, I wanted to link it to a DIY Project at the CSIProject.com. The theme for this challenge was paint and I remembered my favorite painting project was the Tin Tin dresser. I have more updated projects (repainting my dining room hutch, reusing a craiglist dresser as a kitchen island) which I could post but am too busy with other projects to get the photos. So here's my favorite and here's the link to other CSI projects.

We're going to move through the laundry room, down the hall, into the boys room and back through the front hall. Stay close now so you don't get lost!

So hanging in our drab and dusty laundry room is this rug (?) from Afghanistan. Our best man gave this to us for a wedding present. I think it's suppose to sit on a horse. Not sure, really have no clue but I love the colors and texture, and again a good reminder to be praying for the people of Afghanistan.

Just outside the laundry room and facing our front door is another rug. We purchased this from the family whose home we were staying in in Tashkent. We were told it was over 100 years old. I don't know rugs but I love the color and was kind of desperate to bring home a rug from Central Asia.

Moving into the boys room is my second most favorite piece of furniture. This dresser was given to us before we moved to Colorado. It came with us to Canada and there it was transformed. Do you recognize the character? Tin Tin! While Ian met Tin Tin when we lived in Vancouver, I met Debbie Travis. Debbie had a decorating show on TV called The Painted House. Through her I learned about painting furniture. While we were living on 50 W. 37th I painted a mural on the basement wall and a rug going down the stairs. Ian drew Tin Tin and his dog Snowy on the dresser and I painted. I love this and even though it only cost us paint, this dresser is priceless!

Outside the boys room, first thing I see when I leave my room is this portrait of Emma. My brother-in-law, Tim Solliday is an artist (duh!). This sketch of Emma is when she was five.

In our front hall is this table I bought at our church's silent auction. If you are a wood-lover you would probably dis-inherit me for painting over this but the wood didn't thrill me, rather dark and dreary. I did the same technique as on the corner hutch in the kitchen, accept the base is the wood. I rubbed a candle over areas which would receive the most wear, painted the celery green and then sanded down to the wood where there was wax. I'm not completely satisfied with the piece. It will probably receive a transformation in the near future. Sitting on the table is a plate (from Uzbekistan) filled with rocks and shells Emma picked up while in Cyprus and rocks Dave picked up from Israel. There's also a Bible Emma received in Cyprus, (cover is made of cedar wood) and an icon of Mary (from Cyprus).

We'll move to the living room next.

Birthday Joys

2010-05-25T18:51:00.000-07:00

Along with graduation and a party to follow, we had a birthday celebration at the Moody abode. What brought me the greatest joy was Liam asking me about 3 dozen times on Saturday if he could open the refrigerator and look at his cake. And everyone who came over for whatever reason Liam would pull them into the kitchen to proudly show his cake.

LOST

2010-05-24T01:17:00.000-07:00

I was initially frustrated. What is the island all about? What about Dharma? What about that dang button that needed to be pushed? What was the power/energy/light?

Is it important those questions be answered? Probably not. But I am curious

But the final scene. It has been playing over and over in my head. I loved it and hated it. When Jack turned around to see his father standing and the conversation that followed. Something was missing for me. In my final analysis I realize that something wasn't there for a very good reason.

Through the entire 6 seasons of LOST Jack was angry at his father - furious in fact - and for good reason. His father flew to Australia to drink himself to death, left his family in California to learn on their own that he had another family down under. What was missing in that final scene was Jack's anger at his dad. Through Jack's pilgrimage on the island, coming to grips with who is his, who is isn't and living in his gifts, he embraced his father with love and forgiveness. There was no need nor desire for explanations. Jack held on to his father and wept. Grace.

They showed their sanctified sides of each other. No blaming. No condemnation. No judging. There was forgiveness, moving on, love and grace. What happened, happened and because of grace and forgiveness there was no need, (almost a necessity not to even broach the subject) to mention the past. Grace.

And I'd still like those other questions answered. And don't get me started on that lame stained-glass.

John 20: 21-23

2010-05-23T07:28:00.000-07:00

Receiving the Holy Spirit (John 20:20), Hannah Cheriyan Varghese - Malaysia

As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.

How did the the Father send the Son:

as a newborn,

in a virgin,

a poor family,

obscure family,

unknown by the world,

covert,

Jesus:

hearing the Father,

doing only what the Father said,

only glorifying the Father,

in obedience to the Father, sent.

Jesus is sending out the 12.

He was sent.

They will be sent.

They are going out.

They are no longer their own,

following their own path,

living their own lives.

They are sent out by the Father to glorify the Father -

to be windows so the world sees the Father,

His love for us,

His desire for relationship.

...he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit."

He has the Holy Spirit,

they need the Holy Spirit in order to be sent out as Jesus,

the Son was sent out.

"If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven;
if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven."

Is the work of the disciples all about forgiveness?

Why are these words followed by the gift of the Holy Spirit?

To forgive man of his sins, show the way to forgiveness?

Is He giving power to the disciples to forgive people's sins?

you have power to not forgive and they won't be forgiven -- that's power!

It's a confrontation with forgiveness.

Is that what Jesus is calling His disciples in to?

Confront and forgive and move out of sin?

His miracles, healings, the woman caught in adultery concluded with,

"Go and sin no more."

Thoughts on Grace While Reading Blue Like Jazz

2010-05-21T10:39:00.000-07:00

What gets frustrating is the desire to be good but the overwhelming compunction to not. In my own strength I strive to do and think the right way but my flesh is so much stronger than my good self. What I need to realize I will never have enough willpower to do/be the right way. Where I must go with my desired attempts is to Christ - to lay it before him and say, "I want this but I can't do it. Do it for me, through me." He then, in some way I can't explain, changes my inability to even want to do good to an ability to embrace and cherish good. I almost relish in my inability and my proclivity to sin because it throws me back to him. It reveals how much I can't and how much he can.

Fed Up With Verizon...Are You?

2010-05-21T08:24:00.000-07:00

We have four lines on our cell phone bill. Two of those phones multi-media phones with the keyboards and some of the keys on the dashboards automatically (because of the shortcut option) connect to the web. When we notice this happening we immediately press end. We do not need to connect to the internet with our phones and we don't want to. But at the end of the month Verizon will charge us $1.99 for those brief 1-15 seconds of usage. This has been happening ever purchase these phones four years ago. About every three months I would call Verizon and say, "No, that line is not using the internet," and the customer service rep would say, "Well the user of that phone might be getting games, viewing games or looking at ringtones." Ok. So I believe the rep over my own kid.

But not any more.

It has been happening on my line ever since I purchased the ENV phone last November and I KNOW I am not getting on the web via my phone. When I call Verizon they promise to block this option. I did so, again, two weeks ago and guess what, this month's bill has a data usage charge of $3.98 for the two lines which used .01 kb of data usage. I'm not sure how much time that is but it's not enough to really do anything on the web. Angry and frustrated, I went to the Verizon website to write my complaint rather than talk to a rep on the phone. And I decided to do a little internet investigating. This, it appears, is a problem nationwide.

Here and

Here

I am so angry with this company! Reading that this unethical practice is happening with other customers I must wonder how much money Verizon is making this way. It is wrong. But I am just one person with little to no power or influence. What can I do other than consistently write/call and complain. And yet, I still get charged? Should I add up these data usage charges, which we paid, and deduct that amount from this month's bill? I'd like to but probably won't because Verizon has more power than I and could wreck our credit rating.

What would you do? Has this happened to you?

Celebrating Emma

2010-05-20T07:15:00.000-07:00

Our family's favorite dinner: Greek Salad, home-made pita bread, hummus, olives,

yogurt and grilled chicken

Top it of with "Can-you-have-too-much Chocolate Cake" (Apparently you can because this cake was sooo rich, sooo chocolatey, the slices had to be so thin - this cake could have served 25!)

Recommended Blog

2010-05-19T05:33:00.000-07:00

If you're a diabetic or on a diet (who isn't) you may not want to visit this site. Beautifully photographed cakes, cookies, pies, cupcakes....Emma and I now have baking projects for the Summer!

Our Summer Reading Challenge

2010-05-18T10:03:00.000-07:00

To avoid the inevitable Summer "There's Nothing To Do" syndrome our family has instituted a reading challenge. Last week we placed our names in a hat (Liam excluded) and drew the names out. The drawer had the privilege of choosing a book for the drawee to read. Here are the results:

Aidan will be reading The Host (by Stephanie Meyer) chosen by Emma

Ian will be reading Three Cups of Tea (by Greg Mortensen) chosen by me

Dave will be reading Halo (by Eric Nylund) chosen by Aidan

Emma will be reading House of Leaves (by Mark Danielewski) chosen by Ian

I will be reading Blue Like Jazz (by Donald Miller) chosen by Dave

I hope we will do these 2 more times (at least) this Summer. What are your ideas to group as a family and pass the time this Summer?

Sweet 16

2010-05-18T05:23:00.000-07:00

One of the advantages of living in a very small town is the trip to the DMV is not on all-day affair. And that's where I am going to day with a certain 16 year old who will be getting her first driver's license.

God is 1 Corinthians 13

2010-05-16T19:03:00.000-07:00

We had a wedding out our church last weekend. It was a fun one.

There are certain traditions in weddings which seem to be universal: walking down the aisle, bridesmaids and groomsmen, rings and vows, and certain scriptures which are almost obligatorily recited. 1 Corinthians 13 is one of those.

I don't know why but this verse seemed to me not really to be about marriage. When I heard it at weddings I'd get a little sad because it (as I look and observe human nature) we aren't capable of this love. In the context of the wedding these verses seemed to be a challenge to love one's spouse in a way that is not natural and difficult to maintain 24/7. But Saturday, as Dave read the passage, my spirit thought, "Replace GOD with the word LOVE." We read in 1 John that God is love. He defines the word. He is the word. The love described here is the love God has for us - what He does and how he shows how much he loves us. Without His love invading us we are incapable of loving others, especially our spouse. Read it with me...

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love (GOD), I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love (GOD), I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love (GOD), I gain nothing.

Love (GOD) is patient, love (GOD) is kind. It (GOD) does not envy, it (GOD) does not boast, it (GOD) is not proud.

It (GOD) is not rude, it (GOD) is not self-seeking, it (GOD) is not easily angered, it (GOD) keeps no record of wrongs.

Love (GOD) does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It (GOD) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love (GOD) never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love (GOD). But the greatest of these is love (GOD).

Does it sing differently to your spirit when read with GOD? Does this resonate with you? Verses 1-4 especially strike me with greater depth and wonderment when I see that all I do is dried grass ready to be burned, if I have not GOD. That LOVE is about GOD, not my efforts - but what He's done and doing.It's not about the bride and groom. It's about our Creator, maker of heaven and earth who loves and craves relationship with you and me! It fills me with joy and hope knowing this God is for me. Such knowledge brings rest and peace.

What do you think?

Do You Ever?

2010-05-16T10:22:00.000-07:00

"Please call me if you need anything."

Do you ever say this?

Do you ever get a call?

Do people/friends ever say this to you?

Do you ever call them if you need anything?

Just wondering

How Anger Rears its Ugly Head - In Me, At Least

2010-05-15T09:41:00.000-07:00

I hit my head on the laundry room cupboard this morning. I was crouched down attempting to re-insert the hotair foil-coil-tube-thing back into the drying, while the dryer was running. The smart thing to do would have been to turn it off. But, dang-it, I wanted to get the foil-coil-tube-thing back in and fast. Hot air was escaping into the room, making the room hotter and I was experiencing another warm flash (not quite a full-on hot flash). The hot air pushed the foil-coil-tube thing out again. It wouldn't stay put and I was getting more and more frustrated.

"Just stand up and turn the dang thing off!"

No, I was going to do this despite common sense and physics. So I ran into the bedroom to retrieve a shoebox. Ingeniously I knew the shoebox would hold the foil-coil-thing-tube in place. It did! Triumph, victory. Standing up to take my bow I hit the back of my head on the cupboard. Dang wasn't the first word out of my mouth.

Now I'm mad. Angry. And a bit embarrassed. So determined to solve the problem in my own illogical way, yet gleefully proud of my resourcefulness, my focus settled on me. My anger was really a result of my stubbornness. But I chose to project.

The phone then rang - once, then twice and my rage that (it seems) no one can answer the phone in this house except me, I screamed, "Can someone answer that?" (I'll let you envision the tone.) And wouldn't you know it, the call was for me. I'm not in the mood to talk, to anyone. I'm mad and I hurt. I try to answer the questions on the other end with little to know revelation regarding my true current spiritual state, remaining polite. I hang up and go into the living room to place the phone back. What do I find --- mess, mess, mess. Dog hair all over the floor (summer approaching, the dogs are shedding), cereal bowls on the table (when they should be in the kitchen), kids watching Saturday morning cartoons (while I was struggling to solve the problems of world peace and hunger and the foil-coil-tube-thing on the dryer). How insensitive of my family to not be a part of my sacrificial work ethic!

Breathe

Stop

Think

Quick prayer of confession and supplication for grace

My anger was really about me, about my stubbornness. My anger was about my obstinance to do something my myopic way which led to my head injury which triggered more anger. It wasn't about the kids. It wasn't about the dogs. It was about me.

The older I get the more I see this as a pattern in my life. When I am mad if I take the time to anatomize that anger I see 9 time out of 10 it leads back to my issue, not the other person. The time it takes me to resolve my emotions is getting shorter. That's God's grace. I suppose it's part of look at the plank in my own eye before complaining about the speck in another's eye. It's about looking to others and not yourself yet looking at yourself before you look at others.

Painting: the scream by Edvard Munch

Redefining Definitions

2010-05-13T09:05:00.000-07:00

Temptations: Opportunities to call on the Holy Spirit; see also struggles, pain, anger, heartache, grief, fear, and hopelessness.

Don't You Love it When...

2010-05-12T07:20:00.000-07:00

Don't you love it when you do a load of laundry and every single sock matches up with its pair!

Joyful Choosing

2010-05-11T07:52:00.000-07:00

I was thinking the other day, in fact it was at our Acts bible study, that God loves us so much even the results of the fall (what we often consider punishments) is actually for our good, for our blessing.

Because of free will, the choice to be independent of God, we live in sin. Blessedly we do not live forever in this state. God, in his infinite wisdom and deep love, blessed us with conditions which cause us to be uncomfortable in this world. "Work by the sweat of your brow", "your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you", "Pain in childbirth".... All these contribute to our restlessness, our unease with our present condition. But we also have an inner longer for what we were created for - paradise, harmony in relationship with nature, each other and with God. We know that in our cores. And so we wonder and wander, searching for that Eden whilst living amongst the thorns and weeds and pains of this life. God gave us these results to keep us dissatisfied with this world - to continue yearning and looking forward to the paradise to come.

I suppose it's a matter of perspective. I could choose to look at the fall as punishment and become bitter, grumbling at my circumstances. OR...I could embrace the reality that I am made for perfection, I am made for that original creation and come my time to pass through this world, I will be there. I am living for that time, God is preparing me (sanctifying me) for that place. That is the perspective I choose because it fills me with hope, joy, peace, expectation and thankfulness that God loves me so much that he continues to abide in me, with me, molding me, friending me.

What do you think?

Resurrection Sunday Dance, Budapest, Hungary

2010-05-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

This was delightful to watch

2010-03-05T07:06:00.000-08:00

You may not agree and if you don't please tell me why, but this speech was delightful, maddening, inspirational, encouraging and challenging. Tell me what you think.

Ann McElhinney’s 2010 CPAC Speech: Grow up, James Cameron!

Lenten Update

2010-02-28T12:00:00.000-08:00

So I've been off coffee, internet games and decorating/craft blogs since February 17th (Ash Wednesday) and you know what, I don't miss them. I come do the computer on Sundays, to catch up on those blogs and it just feels overwhelming, a burden almost. I think Lent reveals those things given up aren't that important - I can live life happily and more fully without them. Unfortunately, I will continue to "catch up" as my curiosity over what has been published without me overrides my Lenten discipline --- at least for now!

Dropping the Bomb

2010-02-21T08:41:00.000-08:00

So I watched a movie last night on the recommendation of a younger person in our church. It was 1 hour and 53 minutes long. I was ready to turn it off at 28 minutes but thought I could endure. By the time 1 hour passed I held on believing I was too invested to not see the ending.

The movie: Boondock Saints. The review: baffled. I would say disappointed but that sounds rather parental.

I am all about relating to the younger generation and refuse to disapprove of what is popular if I haven't thoroughly investigated it myself. So with the rave-reviews of so many in the 20s I pressed "watch-it-now" on Netflix.

What offended me most was the language. According to imdb.com the "f" word was used 244 times. In one scene alone a major character only uses the "f" word during the dialog (or variations on the theme). My body almost literally recoils when I hear such language. It offends. It disturbs. It's ugly. It's tainted. It's poison not only to my ears but to my heart and soul.

And there is excessive drinking. There is so much freely-flowing alcohol with little to no repercussions. Coming from an alcoholic family this sets me on edge. I cringe.

The women in this film are strippers and prostitutes with not an ounce of compassion, wisdom or common sense between the three of them.

Violence dictates the story. Guns, Rambo-size knives, and toilets are used uninhibitedly. There is no remorse. In fact the violence is justified by the "heroes" because they believe God is leading them to clean up the streets of South Boston. They pray before and after each slaughter.

What, I think, struck me most about this film was how it was praised by my friend. It got me thinking about the differences in our generation. I've seen this during my time leading a middle-school youth group, reading on facebook and in my own kids...language is changing.

Yeah, language changes. Big deal. We all know that...gay doesn't mean gay anymore and we don't say thee and thou. But what has changed is the words that were "bad" words, not used in polite society have become mainstream. Without inhibition. I see OMG and WTF typed out in texts and I'm appalled but kids tell me, "It doesn't mean what you think it means anymore!" I remember during an afternoon of KFC (KidsForChrist) the kids were talking about "pimping" their notebooks. I turned in their direction, picking my jaw off the floor and said, "What did you say, do you know what that means?" "What? What's the big deal?" The word had changed. But in my mind it carried the baggage of offensiveness, bondage, degradation and slavery. Not to them, however.

Is the "F" word becoming the same? Passe'. Okay. Mainstream.

The kids were watching the Invention of Lying a couple nights ago. (It was so bad and offensive to them, they initiated turning it off.) This is a PG-13 movie and I heard gasps and "WHAT!" when the "f" bomb was dropped. This stuff makes me mad.

Am I just another generation out of touch with the younger one? Should I resign myself to the fact that language does change and each generation has it's own idiosyncracies? I am stubborn enough to say, NO. Language does matter and somehow, I think, this plays into the pattern of moral relativism-there is no good or bad-there is no good or bad language. It just...is.

Clarification

2010-02-20T09:10:00.000-08:00

So I said I wasn't doing sugar, coffee and internet during Lent. Let me clarify because my kids are giving me a hard time. I am off MOST of the blogs I read during Lent (I am also off the coffee and avoiding sugar). I found that my blog list was growing and could take up to two hours to read all that I wanted. I mostly read food/decorated/crafting blogs. I found that my covet gene was getting the best of me while reading these blogs. I was feeling the need to keep up with the Jones' in this arena of the blogging world, and my personal life (spiritual, family, regular disciplines) was being sacrificed. I was also spending way too much time playing games on facebook. Way, way too much time. So much time that my shoulders would ache at the end of the day. That's a good indicator of excess.

So to clarify:

No Sugar

No Coffee

No reading crafty/decorating blogs

No internet game playing!

2010-02-17T17:47:00.000-08:00

no coffee

no sugar

no internet

see you in 40 days!

The World is Spinning too Fast when...

2010-02-16T12:21:00.000-08:00

...your 15 year-old daughter, just a sophomore in high school, is receiving letters from colleges! Not so fast world, slow down!

Giveaway!

2010-02-10T06:36:00.000-08:00

There's a blog I've been reading for a few months now that has launched satellite blogs and with their launch there's a massive give-away. I have a greater chance on winning (yeah, not likely!) if I blog about it. And I am happy too! I have learned so much from reading simplemom.net. So go visit this site and learn about their launches:

Simplekids

Simpleorganic

Simplebites

Simplehomeschool

Guest Blogger Movie Review

2010-01-30T19:46:00.000-08:00

Avatar - a review

by Lord Rupert Everton

Avatar. Say it with me, children: Over-rated. Although singularly impressive in the movie industry at crafting epic, technically superior (and very very high grossing) films, James Cameron is receiving a massive bailout when it comes to his latest, in the form of hyperbolic media hype and the resurgence of the “3-D” fad. Critical and commercial hysteria has followed Avatar since its release with some, including Detroit News’ Tom Long, calling it “the future of movies.” Only time will tell if Avatar is to be enshrined with the likes of The Matrix, Blade Runner, and yes, Aliens as a sci-fi classic, and that is why I am here. You see, I am no mere Roger Ebert, critiquing movies as they come out. I come from the future, with the message that although the blue people and their eden of Pandora looked very pretty on their big-screen debut, their characters and story are just as bland, boring, and suspense-less in the future as they were in 2009.

PLOT

Let’s be honest and call Avatar what it really was: a remake. There is nothing new here. If two years ago, someone described to you a movie that followed the story of an invading soldier with the initials J.S. who crosses paths with a beautiful woman of a different race and in doing so, falls in love with both her and her culture, culminating in their effort to stop war between the invaders and the natives, what would you say? Avatar is merely a 3-D, $500 million

conglomeration of Pocahontas, Dances With Wolves, and the relatively unseen Battle for Terra.

Now some may think that I am condemning Avatar for being unoriginal, which I am most certainly not. Each year, quality albeit unoriginal films are released that I greatly enjoy. However, Avatar was not only an unoriginal story, it was a very poorly told unoriginal story. In fact, if you still are one of the lucky few who has not yet shelled out 10-15 dollars to buy an Avatar ticket and a pair of stylish 3-D shades, but you still want to, I propose an experiment. Bring a notebook with you into the theatre, and as the story unfolds, write down any predictions you may have about characters, plot-twists, etc. Now watch in amazement as all that you have predicted comes to fruition. No surprises. No built-up drama. Is it magic? No, it’s a lack of any suspense or imagination in Cameron’s fabled story-telling ability.

Grade: D

CHARACTERS / ACTING

Calling the entities who participate in Avatar’s story “characters” is a bit of a stretch. The better fit might be “caricatures.” No one exhibits any real depth or emotion beyond what one might expect upon first meeting them. There’s the hardened ex-marine who falls in love, the greedy corporate exec who cares about nothing but profit, the native princess who falls in love with someone she’s not supposed to, the crazy military man who just wants things to explode... everything you might expect, nothing you wouldn’t. Avatar has no character development aside from the protagonist, leaving the audience with shallow archetypes running around while things explode (in 3-D!).

As much as I disliked the characters in Avatar (or lack thereof), there’s very little to complain about the acting. Sam Worthington & Co. did the most they could with what they were given. However, there is one thing that stood out to me. In some movies, there are characters that, for whatever reason, make you cringe every time they speak. Trudy Chacon (Michelle Rodriguez) is that character. There are only so many cheesy lines that can be said before one starts feeling a bit embarrassed and wonders, “does anyone actually speak like that?” And although she does not play a crucial role, it was enough to make me shudder.

Grade: C-

VISUALS / ACTION

Prior to Avatar, the 3-D experience was like a sugar rush: after the novelty wore off, you left with little more than a dizzying headache. While the art of three-dimensional film has not yet been perfected, it has been greatly improved here. The fast-paced action sequences in Avatar may still hurt some eyes, but the slow and still shots are truly incredible. The clarity and depth of these images is astounding, and I will not disagree with the Academy when they present Avatar with the award for best special effects.

Avatar, at its core, is a summer blockbuster / action movie that was released in December. As such, there are plenty of battles and fight scenes to keep everyone entertained. As far as I am concerned, the action scenes in Avatar are neither better nor worse than what one would expect from any summer blockbuster.

Grade: B+

Avatar is not a bad movie. However, it is not a particularly good movie and is far from the great movie so many critics are describing it as. The bottom line is this: if you are looking for a decent action movie with amazing 3-D animation but little else, then get in line. If you are looking for anything more than that, such as a story, character development, or any form of drama, you will not find it in Avatar.

AVATAR: C

¹ http://www.nytimes.com

About the author: Lord Rupert Everton is a charming, handsome, and well-bearded man who, among other things, enjoys writing movie reviews, traveling through time, medium-rare strip steaks, and mint juleps. He thanks you for reading his work.

Another Proof that Men and Women Think Differently

2010-01-22T21:10:00.001-08:00

I have a glass vase I would like to monogram with frosting spray paint. Looking for the "perfect" M to paint on the glass, I printed out an M using Christmas Card font and left it on the printer for the family's opinion. Viewing it from upside-down, Dave had only one thing to say, "I know this is an M but all I see are two breasts or a buttocks wearing a thong."

Bible Study with a Five-Year Old

2010-01-22T08:32:00.000-08:00

Mom: Do you know what sin is?

Student: No.

Mom: It's when we disobey God and don't do what he asks us and do what He doesn't want us to do. Like lie and cheat and be jealous of others.

Student: Like jellyfish. I like jelly.

What a contrast!

2010-01-11T06:58:00.000-08:00

Jennifer O

For Unto Us (song by Sherri Youngward) [repost]

2009-12-24T07:05:00.000-08:00

Beethoven would roll in his grave

2009-12-16T06:32:00.000-08:00

She is very creative, an inspiration. I was inspired today to do this:It's sheet music rolled into cone-shapes and hot-glued onto a cardboard wreath. This is my 2nd wreath. My 1st...not too impressive. It took me 3/4 of rolling to get the cone shape right and only then did I think, "If I fold over the last bit of the sheet music the cone shape will look cleaner." So I did. But only after gluing on all the cones on the first wreath - which I will not show you! This is a dangerous project - you will burn your fingers with hot glue and probably offend your piano teacher (sorry Mrs. Lawrence, r.i.p.). But this is going to our church organist. I think a rather apropos Christmas gift.

Ragamuffin Wreaths

2009-12-14T11:28:00.000-08:00

Using her as an inspiration I made three ragamuffin wreaths this weekend. They're easy to make, fast to make, easy to personalize and fun. These are for my two nieces and a friend. Here's how you do it:

Find matching fabric - about 1 yd of fabric (I purchase 1/4 yd of 5 types) made these three wreaths.

Cut strips (10 in x 1 1/2 in) and tie them onto a rounded wire hanger. Nester's original ragamuffin is a swag (strips tied onto a ribbon).

I wanted to personalize each wreath, hence the balsa wood banner.

I covered the hook-y part of the hanger with hot-glued ribbon. Easy!

Gloucester Cathedral Choir - In the Bleak Midwinter

2009-12-09T15:42:00.001-08:00

Such reverence. Sets me right. Relax, enjoy, meditate.

Snowflakes..If I could Do This So Can You

2009-12-08T20:48:00.001-08:00

I love cutting out snowflakes and taping them on the windows this time of year. I was thrilled (ok, I don't lead a very exciting life) to see this craft and ran for paper, tape and scissors. This is quick, easy and fun. I'd like to hang them everywhere. Dave thinks I'm a bit obsessive!&*@#(!

Here are my results:

hanging in the kitchen window

and then I thought, "hey, I could use any kind of paper, as long as it's square...

why not a magazine...national geographic."

I've Been a Busy Bee...

2009-12-07T16:47:00.000-08:00

... channeling my inner kindergartener. I've been inspired by so many crafty bloggers, especially her, her, her, her and her. Right before Thanksgiving I was motivated to finish a job I started about four years ago - painting the mis-matched end tables to match. I went with black. Good choice right? But I chose enamel. The paint never dried. The table top was forever tacky. I hated it. I was then determined to remedy this situation with a new-found tool - spray paint. Oh the wonder of it! It goes on like a dream. Dries quickly and doesn't drip. With the three tables all matching in color and tone I quickly altered them by decoupaging. Here's a sample of the first.
I had purchased this paper for another project (to be revealed in a next entry). I love toile. I thought the black and white toile would nicely complement the center of this table. However...as I was pressing out an air bubble - scratch - a little hole. Bummer! What to do? Well, necessity is the mommy of invention and that's from where the idea for the quote (from Pope John Paul II) came. I love the result and could stare at this table for ... minutes.

The next table gained the pages from a children's book. I know, I know, probably blasphemous to some avid reader(s) out there but I love the look of the pages of old books. And the illustrations are just one of a kind. This table houses our cd player and some cd's.

The last table is similar is style to the first but smaller. It's been in the basement - covered in tacky enamel for four years. Now that it's spray-painted and decoupaged with classical piano music (Tchaikovsky's Song Without Words). Love it now and would never send it back to the cellar.[Technical difficulties prohibit me from sharing photos of these tables.]

Since there was some black spray paint left in the can I did it...I began the make-over I'd been contemplating for ten years. I began painting my dining room hutch. I went with the distressed look because, well I love it. After the holidays the sideboard will get done.
Here's a before picture:
So that's the start. I'll show you what I've done for Christmas decorations in a couple days.

Here's my Afternoon Rambling Thoughts...You Can Sift Through Them

2009-12-01T12:27:00.000-08:00

You know the adage, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely? I've been thinking about that and how true it is, in every aspect of our lives: in friendships, in families, in marriage, in jobs, in city-state-national government.
We recently had a building project, in our town, picketed by unionists. Of course they were protesting because the owners of the building project were not using union workers. Rather than hire outside the town they chose contractors who were local. They wanted to boost the local economy - give jobs to their neighbors rather than outside union laborers.

I've seen the recent youtube videos of SEIU union members attack tea party protestors. It is ugly. I've heard the bullying and threatening techniques the union uses to coerce individuals to hire/join/support various unions.

Now looking back into union history I understand why the unions started. Although I now wonder if some of those history lessons I was taught were revisionist, painting the union as the good guys and the industry captains as the greedy bad guys. But what I learned was the union had a place, in time, to bring fairness in the workplace - not only for safety-sake, but for fair-wages. Overall, the movement was a good thing. But like the adage above - they gained power and became corrupt. Overtime, when one is holding the cards, the likelihood to become sinister and scheming grows. The unions had their place but now they have tainted what they were meant for and corrupted their purpose. They are useless now.

But that's not to say unions are the root of evil. I think power is. I think when power is placed in anyone's hands for too long of time, their usefulness, their good intentions become moldy. I see it in relationships, I see it in the workplace and I see it in the church. It taints everyone. We are not immune.

I think that's why George Washington was our greatest president. He recognized the temptation of power and turned it down. He was asked to take the reins of this country and rule. He served. He stepped down. This is such a contrast to what we see today in politics. Senators, representatives, governors, councilman...they seek life-long careers in power. This does no good for our country and in a way it is a disservice to those people serving. Power is a temptation. It seeps in these positions of leadership and slowly seduces the civil servant into a tyrant - feasting and craving for more. We, as civilians who elect these leaders, do a disservice to us, to the elected and to our children by feeding that lust for power by voting in the incumbent. It's like taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar.

They Are so Out-of-Touch and They are so Out-of-Here Next November

2009-11-22T06:25:00.000-08:00

Is ticked off with my senators. Here's the latest love letter from Durbin:

Dear Barbara, Moments ago, the Senate voted to begin its full debate on historic health care reform legislation instead of obstructing it with a filibuster. Tonight's vote marks the biggest victory to date for our grassroots effort to pass health care reform with a public option. We cannot give enough thanks to the over 100,000 signers of our petition at CitizensForAPublicOption.com for helping to fundamentally shift the momentum towards meaningful reform. Not long ago, a few loud opponents of reform armed and organized by the insurance industry dominated this debate. Now the American people, the majority of whom support a public option, have spoken out and gained the upper hand. Not long ago, the public option seemed like little more than a pipe dream. Now it's part of health care bills in both the Senate and the House. Not long ago, members of our own Democratic caucus weren't sure they could even support an up-or-down vote on health care reform legislation. Tonight they voted to end the Republican filibuster. But despite this good news, the fight for meaningful health care reform is not over. As we debate amendments to this legislation in the coming weeks, we will work with our colleagues to ensure it continues to address the "Three C's" of meaningful reform: competition, choice, and cost reduction. And we will firmly oppose any effort to eliminate the public option. Tonight we celebrate a milestone no one thought we could reach just months ago. Tomorrow the fight continues. We will not let up until the President signs a bill we can all be proud of. Thank you for your support.

I sent him a piece of my mind. He had a poll up last week, asking people to chime in about the healthcare reform bill. I voted 6 times! How accurate a picture is that? 106,000 sign a petition for the health care and he pays attention. Hundreds of thousands have been protesting for months and tiddly-squat - they (we) are stooges for the health insurance industry. TIME TO KICK THE BUMS OUT AND DEMAND TERM LIMITS ON CONGRESS!!!

Showing Off

2009-11-20T11:37:00.000-08:00

I'm showing off my entry hall (scroll down a wee bit) redo on a blog that's new to me-DIY Show Off. Visit there and you'll meet many other bloggers who've done amazing DIY projects, crafts, recipes, etc. It's a great place to glean new creative ideas, especially for the holidays.

Patting Myself on the Back

2009-11-18T19:50:00.000-08:00

Mommylife.net highlighted a quiz a Pew Research. Here are my results. Yeah, that's right....100% baby.
I have an entry coming up about the Pioneer Woman's book signing. I'm still processing my experience and feelings. Hold on to your hats for that.

A Coat of Paint Does a World of Good

2009-11-05T10:30:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to paint our front entrance hall for months, perhaps years. It originally had a coat of beige flat paint. If you know paint you know flat paint is impossible to clean. With 4 kids and 2 dogs the walls needed to be cleaned. Paint was the only answer. This past weekend I did it and I love it. I re-arranged some nick-nacks, re-positioned photos and now I sit back on the couch and gaze at my handiwork with pride. I love it!

the front entrance, one wall is milk and coffee tan and the other, burnt red

family pictures rearranged

repositioned and rearranged the shelves

Cead Mille Failte, a thousand greetings, in Irish

Ian's shelf re-used, showing off the red

a view from the couch, love it!

My Pioneer Woman

2009-11-04T10:09:00.000-08:00

My Pioneer Woman Cooks cookbook came in the mail today. I was so excited to peel back the carton and scarfed down every page, picture and recipe. And honestly, I was heartbroken to see the book come to the end. I so wanted more! On November 17th Ree will be in St. Louis to sign her book. I will be there as will Dave (he loves her cinnamon rolls...: )>).

Two Prayers

2009-10-29T07:15:00.000-07:00

When I pray, "Jesus, rescue me, take me away from these troubles. Remove me from this hardship," I am limiting myself. When I pray, instead, "Jesus, equip me in this situation to be wiser, stronger, more at peace, more content, more joyful..." then I am open to sanctification, to maturing, to becoming an adult in Christ. I am putting aside the simpler, youthful things and embracing what I was made for - bearing fruit.

It's easy to pray the first prayer. It's my initial reaction. It's simple. It's simplistic. It's from my flesh. But God wants me to grow. He's teaching me. He hasn't given up on me and so He allows trials, but really they aren't trials, rather opportunities. Teaching moments. I can either resort to the immature, "Get me outta here!" or "Give me what I need to learn, survive, thrive and bring others along!"

Resorting to the first prayer leads to resentment, doubt, self-pity. "Why aren't you doing what I asked God! You're not living up to MY expectations."

Resting in the second prayer is exercise. It is hard. It stretches me. My faith (or lack of it), my confidence (In my Creator vs. in myself), takes me out of my comfort-zone. But in the end...after the trust-building and equipping...I am stronger. It's the better way. Now if only I would eat these words - they would become a part of my body and soul!

Shopping Advice

2009-10-21T10:38:00.000-07:00

I'm not a coupon clipper. I have, on occasion, tried to master the habit and discipline but typically find that most items advertised in coupons are items I tend to avoid purchasing because, well frankly, they're over-priced to begin with, and tend to be "junk" food (crackers, granola bars, frozen entrees, etc). I am a "make-it-from-scratch" homemaker. And more often than not the generic items are cheaper.

However...my sister hooked me up with a blog called moneysavingmom.com. This woman gives decent advice for shopping, links to coupons, who's got what on sale and how to save money in general. Last week she mentioned a new site called alice.com. This is a new on-line grocery store. And if there's a coupon out there alice will link the coupon to the item for you, so, no clipping, no matching what you need to a coupon in some throw-away-flyer.

If you have a head for remembering how much stuff costs at your grocery store (I shop almost exclusively at Walmart and Aldi) you can quickly compare alice's prices to yours. Oftentimes I found alice's prices to be the same or a wee bit less. Now here's the kicker ---- there's no shipping!!!! And you can place your items on a memory list so alice will remind you when a particular cleaning product or shampoo is most likely running low.

With my sign-up I was given a $10 gift certificate (to be used when you spend at least $50). So I placed my first order on Monday. Here's what I ordered and how much it cost:

12 rolls Scott toilet paper (because my Walmart is no longer carrying the 12 rolls, only the 4 and this is the best toilet paper out there)....$9.85

Clorox toilet cleaner.....$1.94 with $.50 off coupon....$1.44 ($1.97 at Walmart)

Palmolive Dish soup....$3.02

Clorox Cleaner....$2.85 with $.50 off coupon....$2.35 ($3.16 at Walmart)

Suave Brunette Shampoo....$1.86 with $1 off coupon....$.86 ($1.97 at Walmart)

Suave Brunette Conditioner....$1.86 with $1 off coupon....$.86 ($1.97 at Walmart)

Revlon Permanent hair color....$3.29

Suave moisturizer....#1.97 with $.50 off coupon....$1.47 ($1.88 at Walmart)

Covergirl high volume mascara....$5.84 with $1 off coupon....$4.84 ($6.18 at Walmart)

Airborne pink grapefruit....$4.74 with $1 off coupon....$3.74 ($6.54 at Walmart)

As you can see most of the prices at Alice.com were less than Walmart, plus I cashed in my $10 gift certificate. I'd say I made out pretty well. I placed my order on Monday and received it on Wednesday so I am especially impressed with the free shipping. I'm happy with this find. I will be using it again.

A reminder of what it's all about

2009-09-29T06:53:00.000-07:00

h/t viola

He is Enamored With Me

2009-09-24T07:54:00.000-07:00

Years ago, when Ian was just a babe, our family was on a retreat with the mission organization with which we worked. I believe Ian was just 4 months old. During sessions I would sit in the back so when necessary I could nurse him in relative privacy, and his gurgling and cooing wouldn't disturb the rest of the staff. Sheila, one of our co-workers, mentioned to me that she enjoyed watching me watch Ian. She said that as I cradled him in my arms and gazed at his wee fingers and toes she was reminded of God's gaze on her - how much He enjoys and delights in her. It was the Holy Spirit blessing her with a physical manifestation of a spiritual reality. God delights in his people. (Psalm 149:4)

I have a hard time reconciling this truth in my life. Yet I still gaze on my children (especially when they're asleep - somehow it's easier to see that cherishable side then) with wonder and amazement. I still smile brightly in my heart when I look upon them. God is more so in love, enamored, delighted than I could ever be over my children, and over me. This is an important spiritual truth.

In the Word Among Us today I was reminded that:

He offers [me] a relationship of friendship and reveals himself and his word to [me]...He can even bring victory over fear and discouragement as [I] root [myself] in his love and presence.

When I

pursue his victory of sin

When I

ask him to heal my wounds and strengthen my weaknesses

When I

let him deliver me from bondage to sin

When I

declare my faith in God's mighty power and authority to set me free

When I

trust in his time and his wisdom

When I

take hold of these things and receive the glory that is mine in Christ.

I am at peace, at rest, centered on what is truth and real.

Too often I focus on my weaknesses and failings. I know these do not define me, but too often I let them. My daily sanctification is to take hold of my heritage as a child of God. That's true self-esteem. That's true self-realization. I'm a work in progress.

Be All That You Can Be

2009-09-18T08:38:00.000-07:00

When we (Dave and I) were visiting Alaska (oh, did I forgot to tell you that one!) in July, I stopped by the cathedral across the street from our hotel. On my way out I picked up a copy of the Word Among Us - a catholic daily devotional. I loved reading through it so I subscribed. I continue to love reading through it.

Yesterday's entry was on the woman who washed Jesus' feet with her hair (from Luke 7). She...

...shamelessly demonstrated her love for Jesus. She didn't hesitate. She didn't fear rejection. Her actions overflowed from a conviction deep in her soul that Jesus loved her and she wanted to return that love. She was transformed because she saw that Jesus had accepted her and was committed to her, no matter how dark her previous life had been.

I, almost, instantly felt an attraction, a benign jealousy for this woman's demonstration, for her love, courage and conviction. I honestly don't feel that unbridled devotion to my LORD.

Lately I've been experiencing how hesitant I am in receiving. Let me explain. Dave is a gracious giver. He gives love and affection to me freely, regularly, joyously. I look at him when he gushes, "You are so beautiful, I love you!" incredulously. In my eyes I am unlovable and unworthy. God, through Dave, has given me a relationship which mirrors Him. Like Peter in Acts, I am reminded that what He has made clean I am not to call unclean. I have been made clean, I am being made clean. I am not worthy but because of Christ's blood over me, I am. It's almost like a slap in His face when I turn away, as I do with Dave, and guffaw, "I don't see what you see, therefore, I don't believe you." And in my heart and mind I do say that.

So, you see, I want to be like the woman in Luke's story. I want to believe. And it seems that God, in His infinite mercy and love, is placing circumstances and words to convince (or woo) me. I am reading through the Catechism of the Catholic Church (or at least I started reading, don't know how long I will pursue this massive tome).

In Part One, The Profession of Faith, I read:

The dignity of man rests above all on the fact that he is called to communion with God. He cannot live fully according to truth unless he freely acknowledges that love and entrusts himself to his creator.

And quoting from Augustines Confessions:

...for you have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.

In brief,

...going toward God man lives a fully human life only if he freely lives by his bond with God. Without the Creator the creature vanishes.

These words encourage me. But I confess, I still harbor doubts and distrust. Yet I am moving toward accepting, I am moving toward surrender.

Pasta with Lemon Butter and Scallops

2009-08-20T17:28:00.000-07:00

Tonight's fare was once again from Donna Hay: Pasta with Lemon Butter and Scallops. Unfortunately Aldi was not carrying scallops but did have a frozen bag of Fruits de Mer (scallops, shrimp and calimari). I know fresh would be so much better but....

It was a success so here's the recipe: Cook pasta (I used 12 oz. spaghetti but Donna recommended fresh fettucine). In pan melt 4 oz butter and 2 T. olive oil. Add zest of one whole lemon and a dash of pepper. Cook for one minute. Add the sea food and cook for just one minute (until done, doesn't take long, so watch it). Add the pasta in and mix thoroughly. The recipe does not call for salt nor parmesan but we added both. The lemon gives a very nice flavor to this dish, very refreshing. I hope you enjoy it.

Now lest you think my entire family enjoys my cooking here is what my youngest (5yo) choses to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner....

Lucky Charms, without the charms (those, of course, get eaten first)

The Loss of a Family Member

2009-08-19T06:22:00.000-07:00

Ian and Whitney at High School graduation

Today we are driving Ian three hours away to leave him at his place of residency for, likely, four more years. He begins his university-adventure. He has yet to declare a major but is fiddling between engineering and political science. Oh, the school -- Eastern Illinois University in Charleston. We have already (actually made these plans in April!) made plans for his room. The dinner table will not be the same. We are all a bit sad and grieving. Cards and gifts are appreciated.

Pride Before the Fall-Updated

2009-08-17T19:03:00.000-07:00

I made another great dinner tonight. Yeah, I know that's rather boastful but, hey, it's the truth. And my husband will back me up.

Again inspired by Julie and Julia, I devised this week's menu to include recipes from my Donna Hay cook-books. I have a lot of cook-books but lately have not been using them, rather depending on memory and easy-to-improvise-off-the-top-of-my-head-know-by-heart recipes. It's clearly time to hit the books. I was introduced to Donnas Hay about 11 years ago (when we were in Canada). Her recipes aren't complicated and her books have gorgeous photos. Some of the ingredients are a bit hard to come by, living in rural southern Illinois...so I often improvise, as I did tonight.

Tonight's menu was Baby Spinach Salad with Prosciutto and Tomatoes. Walmart was not carrying prosciutto today so I had to settle for pancetta. Also there were no wedges of parmesan so it was pre-shredded instead. Like I said about Donna Hay's recipes - easy and quick. Just roast the pancetta and half roma tomatos (drizzled with oil) in a 350 degree oven for about 10 minutes. The tomatoes take longer than the pancetta. Meanwhile get the spinach ready. In a bowl toss the baby spinach with about 1/2 c. parmesan. Now mix the dressing: 2 T. olive oil, 2T. lemon juice, 2 t. brown sugar and 1/3 c. chopped fresh basil. Toss the dressing in. Now to assemble: layer the tomatoes, pancetta and salad. Now devour. It's delicious, light, refreshing and elegant. Top it off with that wonderful NY Times bread and white white. Yes!

Now where the fall comes in...

I had a hankering for lemon pound cake. It just sounded right with the above mentioned menu, topped off with blueberries. So as soon as dinner was over I went to baking. Flour, sugar, salt, baking powder, butter, lemon juice, vanilla---check, check, check. Mix it up. Set it in the pan. In the oven it goes. 60 minutes from now I will have what I want.

Two minutes into the baking process I'm cleaning the counter and, hey, what's this - 4 eggs. What are these out....oh no! As quickly as possible, and as carefully as possible I pull the loaf pan out of the oven and back into my already clean mixing bowl. Hopefully no worse for wear, I return the loaf pan to the oven WITH the eggs. It's just now out of the oven and cooling, waiting to taste if any damage was done.

Now the funny thing was as I was mixing this pound cake my mind was dwelling on the delights of dinner and how I could embellish my accomplishment on this blog. Pride knocks me down a few notches every time. It's for my good.

Update:

So after cooling I went to cut the pound cake but it was stuck in the pan because, you see, I neglected to re-spray the pan after dumping the original batter back into my mixing bowl. Oh, and it burned, a tinge. After cutting a few slices off then using the spatula to lift the remaining loaf then surgically removing the charred exterior, the cake isn't that bad. Nice lemony flavor and moist texture.

Inspiration

2009-08-15T17:10:00.001-07:00

I was so inspired by the cooking in Julie and Julia I made bruschetta for dinner tonight.

It was goood! Homemade bread. Fresh Cherries. Assorted Cheeses. Spanish Wine.

Emma's homemade ice cream and cherry cobbler finished this most perfect meal.

How to Celebrate Your 20th Anniversary

2009-08-13T06:43:00.000-07:00

We went to see the movie Julie and Julia.

But Dave wanted to get out of town way before the movie started so we drove up to Shiloh, Dave pecked on a burrito from Qdoba and then we test-drove a 2009 VW Jetta with absolutely no intentions to buy (personally I think VW has sold out their original low-cost, everyman's car philosophy and become a B+ rated Mercedes). We then went to the movie which...

I LOVED!

I've seen two other movies this summer: Transformers 2 and Harry Potter. The first was a major disaster and the second was disappointing. Julie and Julia was a delight. The best parts of the film were between Julia and her husband Paul (and Stanley Tucci ain't so bad to look at - ohh, bald men!) Their relationship was so tender and uplifting (yes, it's a movie and in reality they were probably more "real").

Both women (Julia Child and Julie Powell) were innovators, pioneers and I greatly admire that. Dave and I love to describe ourselves as amateur foodies and this film fulfilled all the necessary requirements. Now, when you go to see it, go hungry and either plan to eat right after. I mean, immediately. Or..before going to the movie (if you're intending to come home after) purchase a nice bottle or two of wine, some fine baguettes, brie, grapes, maybe some fine pancetta, salami or the like and have it ready for you when you get home. This movie will make you hungry. And not hungry for the ordinary. Hungry for the fine, the delicate, the meant-to-be-savored cuisine saved for those romantic dates or birthday parties (at least in our house).

This was a great movie and Meryl Streep is Julia Child. I couldn't believe this was the same woman who played a crotchety nun in Doubt and a free-spirited ex-hippie in Mama Mia. Just incredible. And like I said, Stanley Tucci (though not an actor I would place on a top 10 list for good looks) exudes sexiness.

On a similar note..I made bread this week. Not just ordinary bread. On YouTube is a short news clip (I think from a New York City TV station) of some chef demonstrating his fool-proof bread recipe. I viewed this about two years ago and vowed to make it. Well, two years later I did and let me tell you it is awesome bread. If you love, love, love the taste and texture of bakery-fresh artisan bread you must make this. And it is so easy. Although I did follow the suggestions given by the many commenters (such as letting the bread rise a second time and oil the bowl). I would also add my own suggestion, at least for my oven, bake with the lid off for only 5-7 minutes, not 15. Here's a picture (which you can't smell or taste so it doesn't really do the bread justice!).Bon Apetit!

20 Years

2009-08-12T06:12:00.000-07:00

20 years ago I made promises. In my heart I believed those promises would be easy to keep. I was in love. Crazy in love. I promised my hopes and dreams, ups and downs, sickness and health to one man. I gazed into his eyes and rested in our future. I prayed God would lead us, God would protect us and God would bless us.

20 years later I have learned love grows stronger when trust is given more and more room. Love grows deeper when God is given greater significance and love grows real when I step back from my wants and look to my husband's, when I get outside of myself and consider him.

I am thankful that Dave follows God, not me, and not himself. In these 20 years, because of who we are following, I have learned that marriage, and probably in a broader sense - life, is about surrender. Surrender involves trust. It involves confidence. When I surrender to Dave in matters of consequence it demonstrates my trust and confidence in him and vice versa. We have struggled through many decisions, these past 20 years. Looking back I see the struggles were mostly about surrendering, my will for his (and His). A verse which should be tattooed on my arm, it has been so significant these past years is Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

For our good! Not an easy road. Not a sweet, cushy and comfortable journey. Life is about sanctification - getting holy, wholly with God by understanding and entering into holiness. Marriage does that. Because of my decision 20 years ago I have walked through 20 years of wondering, frustration, bliss, doubt, frustration, anger, assurance, blessing, peace, mercy and grace.

Thanks D, for talking me down this road. There is no other man on this planet I would chose to walk beside. You are my soulmate. And if we do have another 20 years, Lord knows where we will go and what we will learn but I do know it will be good.

Truth

2009-08-11T07:25:00.000-07:00

This is why I pray a lot; not because I’m holy, but because I am pathetic

Knowing

2009-07-30T06:45:00.000-07:00

The family watched a dvd last night, Knowing with Nicolas Cage. We were warned by the kids sunday school teacher that this film was dark, even demonic. I was curious.

I did not find it demonic. Quite the opposite. Nicolas Cage's character is an astrophysicist whose father is a pastor. Cage has rejected (or seems to have) his father's faith. He teaches (at MIT) that the universe is random, no purpose and therefore no room for a creator. The story unfolds when his son's school unearths a time capsule which was buried 50 years earlier. The students from 1959 place in envelopes what they imagined the future would hold. One student's letter is nothing but numbers, which appear to be random, but later we, through Cage, discover they are not.

The movie runs a bit slow. Some of the acting is...bad. And the music surges rather over-dramatically. But what shocked me about this movie were the reviews I read at ChristianityToday.com. I was intrigued after watching the flick what reviewers thought, who the writers were, etc., so I did a bit of research. CT reviews movies and then folks can make comments. The comments ran the gammit. Most found the film to be anti-christian (like the kids SS teacher) and demonic. Others saw it as I did (and to not give away the ending I will not reveal my conclusion). The two reviews are so opposite in nature that it fascinated me that a group of people, (and I assume most were people of faith since this review was written and commented on in Christianity Today) could come to such opposing conclusions. Those who came to demonic review warned other christians not to see this movie. I thought this odd, rather judgmental (after all, they saw the movie!).

So, if you've seen this flick, what was your opinion?

Marriage is a Dance

2009-07-24T15:56:00.001-07:00

Maybe it's missing my love (who will be returning tomorrow) but the joy and celebration displayed here brought tears to my eyes.

Soylent Green

2009-07-22T07:23:00.000-07:00

This movie had a great impact on me when I first saw it back in 1973. Lately I've been thinking about it a lot. Especially this scene:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbJTBBoDFH0

And when I read about this

Band of Brothers

2009-07-15T07:45:00.000-07:00

One of the first movies we rented on Netflix was Band of Brothers. We had seen the series on the History Channel, but missed a few episodes so caught up by using Netflix. We've rented it another time, viewing it probably 3 times in its entirety. It's a family favorite. Aidan has a special interest in WWII.

I saw this blog entry at Mommylife.net and knew I had to pass it on.

Subject: Memorial Service: you're invited. We're hearing a lot today about big splashy memorial services.

I want a nationwide memorial service for Darrell "Shifty" Powers.

Shifty volunteered for the airborne in WWII and served with Easy Company of the 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, part of the 101st Airborne Infantry. If you've seen Band of Brothers on HBO or the History Channel, you know Shifty. His character appears in all 10 episodes, and Shifty himself is interviewed in several of them.

I met Shifty in the Philadelphia airport several years ago. I didn't know who he was at the time. I just saw an elderly gentleman having trouble reading his ticket. I offered to help, assured him that he was at the right gate, and noticed the "Screaming Eagle", the symbol of the 101st Airborne, on his hat.

Making conversation, I asked him if he'd been in the 101st Airborne or if his son was serving. He said quietly that he had been in the 101st. I thanked him for his service, then asked him when he served, and how many jumps he made.

Quietly and humbly, he said "Well, I guess I signed up in 1941 or so, and was in until sometime in 1945 . . . " at which point my heart skipped.

At that point, again, very humbly, he said "I made the 5 training jumps at Toccoa, and then jumped into Normandy . . . . do you know where Normandy is?" At this point my heart stopped.

I told him yes, I know exactly where Normandy was, and I know what D-Day was. At that point he said "I also made a second jump into Holland, into Arnhem ." I was standing with a genuine war hero . . . . and then I realized that it was June, just after the anniversary of D-Day.

I asked Shifty if he was on his way back from France , and he said "Yes. And it's real sad because these days so few of the guys are left, and those that are, lots of them can't make the trip." My heart was in my throat and I didn't know what to say.

I helped Shifty get onto the plane and then realized he was back in Coach, while I was in First Class. I sent the flight attendant back to get him and said that I wanted to switch seats. When Shifty came forward, I got up out of the seat and told him I wanted him to have it, that I'd take his in coach.

He said "No, son, you enjoy that seat. Just knowing that there are still some who remember what we did and still care is enough to make an old man very happy." His eyes were filling up as he said it. And mine are brimming up now as I write this.

Shifty died on June 17, 2009 after fighting cancer.

There was no parade.

No big event in Staples Center .

No wall to wall back to back 24x7 news coverage.

No weeping fans on television.

And that's not right.

Let's give Shifty his own Memorial Service, online, in our own quiet way. Please forward this email to everyone you know. Especially to the veterans.

Rest in peace, Shifty.

It's Free! Universal Health Care

2009-07-14T07:41:00.000-07:00

Another recommended site to see - this time covering the idea of Universal Health Care.

When we lived in Canada (1996-1999) we only had two run-ins with health care: visiting our local clinic for an accident (Aidan fell face down out of his stroller) and immunizations. We never had any problems or long waits. But we did hear stories from others, though.

Modern-Day Joseph

2009-07-08T09:17:00.000-07:00

Ian had me read an article in the latest ESPN magazine. All I can say is, "Wow, where is justice?!" and then I immediately think of Joseph. Th is is a real-life Joseph story. What is amazing is this young man's faith. He concludes his predicament with these insightful, faith-filled, mature words:

Being in here I keep asking myself why God put me in that situation. And then it struck me. Maybe I can reach more people, help more people, if they hear my story.

When Did This Happen???

2009-06-30T19:29:00.000-07:00

We don't buy a lot of ice cream. It's too tempting. So when I felt the urge to treat my family the other day I was a bit bewildered by the size of the cartons of ice cream in my super center's freezer section. What happened to half gallon cartons of ice cream? They're all 1.5 gal - 1.75 gal. But the price remains the same. Go figure!

I Agree

2009-06-29T16:39:00.000-07:00

But the lawyers would never go for it.

Crap and Tax

2009-06-27T19:27:00.000-07:00

If this bill passes Pres. Obama will be keeping his promise of creating new jobs - all government jobs created to patrol the new rules and regulations. If you haven't listened to Rep. Boehner's mini-filibustering take the hour to do so. It's maddening. Keeps the lawyers happy though.

Transformers

2009-06-26T20:31:00.000-07:00

i don't think michael bay likes women. maybe it's not he doesn't like them, he just likes to objectify them. the three women characters in the latest transformers movie comprised of: one idiot mother, one over-sexed alien, one girlfriend who knew how to pout her luscious wet lips while arching her back seductively.

he likes the u.s. military, however.

he has no sense of geography either. israel is no longer next to egypt. jordan is. who knew?

Consequences of prayer: Thy will be done

2009-06-22T06:10:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about the consequences of prayer...
Sometimes when we (I) pray and have in the back of my head how I believe (we) God will answer the prayer. I put Him in a box. When I don't see the prayer answered in such-and-such a way I believe the prayer isn't answered. So I keep praying. I keep expecting God to jump through my hoops. Apparently I believe my wisdom and imagination and foresight are greater than God's!

I've been thinking about the consequences of prayer ever since I viewed the movie Slumdog Millionaire. The movie opens in the streets of India-poverty beyond what any westerner could imagine. But it's real. I've seen it in Calcutta and Patna and Karachi. As I viewed the condition of millions I prayed. I'm sure thousands, if not millions of others have prayed over the plight of India's poor. Fast-forward in the movie and the main character is working for a telephone company. His office handles the customer's calls from around the world. You know when you are having an issue with your phone, the bill, whatever and you dial that 1-800 number? Someone in India, or wherever, is answering that call. I've complained about the thick accents on some of the phone company's representatives but not until Slumdog Millionaire did I connect my prayer of 5-10-15 years ago to the fact that jobs sent from our shores to India have lifted thousands, perhaps millions, of Indians out of poverty. I complained about the accent but didn't connect that here was God answering prayer.

I've been thinking about the consequences of prayer in light of the current situation in Iran. What is God doing? How are decade-long prayers being answered? What are our prayers today and how is God arranging the times to answer those prayers in the future?

God is not in a box. His schemes are broad, deep and wide. He sees the past, present and future. He knows how one situation effects another - personal, national and international. I will keep praying but now echo the words of the Lord's prayer: Thy will be done. I want to know what His will is and trust in that. It's short. It's concise: Thy will be done. It releases, it frees and allows God to work His wonders. I want to stand and observe His handiwork, knowing nd proclaiming it is His handiwork working among the nations.

Wow

2009-06-20T05:30:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday morning. A too-early phone at 5:55am woke me and I can't get back to sleep. What to do? Surf the internet of course! And look what I found!

She expresses what I feel, what I tried to write to my representatives. Yes, yes, yes! Pass it on.

I'm a home grown American citizen, 53, registered Democrat all my life. Before the last presidential election I registered as a Republican because I no longer felt the Democratic Party represents my views or works to pursue issues important to me. Now I no longer feel the Republican Party represents my views or works to pursue issues important to me. The fact is I no longer feel any political party or representative in Washington represents my views or works to pursue the issues important to me. There must be someone. Please tell me who you are. Please stand up and tell me that you are there and that you're willing to fight for our Constitution as it was written. Please stand up now. You might ask yourself what my views and issues are that I would horribly feel so disenfranchised by both major political parties. What kind of nut job am I? Will you please tell me?
Well, these are briefly my views and issues for which I seek representation:

One, illegal immigration. I want you to stop coddling illegal immigrants and secure our borders. Close the underground tunnels. Stop the violence and the trafficking in drugs and people. No amnesty, not again. Been there, done that, no resolution. P.S., I'm not a racist. This isn't to be confused with legal immigration.

Two, the TARP bill, I want it repealed and I want no further funding supplied to it. We told you no, but you did it anyway. I want the remaining unfunded 95% repealed. Freeze, repeal.

Three: Czars, I want the circumvention of our checks and balances stopped immediately. Fire the czars. No more czars. Government officials answer to the process, not to the president. Stop trampling on our Constitution and honor it.

Four, cap and trade. The debate on global warming is not over. There is more to say.

Five, universal healthcare. I will not be rushed into another expensive decision. Don't you dare try to pass this in the middle of the night and then go on break. Slow down!

Six, growing government control. I want states rights and sovereignty fully restored. I want less government in my life, not more. Shrink it down. Mind your own business. You have enough to take care of with your real obligations. Why don't you start there.

Seven, ACORN. I do not want ACORN and its affiliates in charge of our 2010 census. I want them investigated. I also do not want mandatory escrow fees contributed to them every time on every real estate deal that closes. Stop the funding to ACORN and its affiliates pending impartial audits and investigations. I do not trust them with taking the census over with our taxpayer money. I don't trust them with our taxpayer money. Face up to the allegations against them and get it resolved before taxpayers get any more involved with them. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, hello. Stop protecting your political buddies. You work for us, the people. Investigate.

Eight, redistribution of wealth. No, no, no. I work for my money. It is mine. I have always worked for people with more money than I have because they gave me jobs. That is the only redistribution of wealth that I will support. I never got a job from a poor person. Why do you want me to hate my employers? Why ‑‑ what do you have against shareholders making a profit?

Nine, charitable contributions. Although I never got a job from a poor person, I have helped many in need. Charity belongs in our local communities, where we know our needs best and can use our local talent and our local resources. Butt out, please. We want to do it ourselves.

Ten, corporate bailouts. Knock it off. Sink or swim like the rest of us. If there are hard times ahead, we'll be better off just getting into it and letting the strong survive. Quick and painful. Have you ever ripped off a Band‑Aid? We will pull together. Great things happen in America under great hardship. Give us the chance to innovate. We cannot disappoint you more than you have disappointed us.

Eleven, transparency and accountability. How about it? No, really, how about it? Let's have it. Let's say we give the buzzwords a rest and have some straight honest talk. Please try ‑‑ please stop manipulating and trying to appease me with clever wording. I am not the idiot you obviously take me for. Stop sneaking around and meeting in back rooms making deals with your friends. It will only be a prelude to your criminal investigation. Stop hiding things from me.

Twelve, unprecedented quick spending. Stop it now.

Take a breath. Listen to the people. Let's just slow down and get some input from some nonpoliticians on the subject. Stop making everything an emergency. Stop speed reading our bills into law. I am not an activist. I am not a community organizer. Nor am I a terrorist, a militant or a violent person. I am a parent and a grandparent. I work. I'm busy. I'm busy. I am busy, and I am tired. I thought we elected competent people to take care of the business of government so that we could work, raise our families, pay our bills, have a little recreation, complain about taxes, endure our hardships, pursue our personal goals, cut our lawn, wash our cars on the weekends and be responsible contributing members of society and teach our children to be the same all while living in the home of the free and land of the brave.

I entrusted you with upholding the Constitution. I believed in the checks and balances to keep from getting far off course. What happened? You are very far off course. Do you really think I find humor in the hiring of a speed reader to unintelligently ramble all through a bill that you signed into law without knowing what it contained? I do not. It is a mockery of the responsibility I have entrusted to you. It is a slap in the face. I am not laughing at your arrogance. Why is it that I feel as if you would not trust me to make a single decision about my own life and how I would live it but you should expect that I should trust you with the debt that you have laid on all of us and our children. We did not want the TARP bill. We said no. We would repeal it if we could. I am sure that we still cannot. There is such urgency and recklessness in all of the recent spending.

From my perspective, it seems that all of you have gone insane. I also know that I am far from alone in these feelings. Do you honestly feel that your current pursuits have merit to patriotic Americans? We want it to stop. We want to put the brakes on everything that is being rushed by us and forced upon us. We want our voice back. You have forced us to put our lives on hold to straighten out the mess that you are making. We will have to give up our vacations, our time spent with our children, any relaxation time we may have had and money we cannot afford to spend on you to bring our concerns to Washington. Our president often knows all the right buzzword is unsustainable. Well, no kidding. How many tens of thousands of dollars did the focus group cost to come up with that word? We don't want your overpriced words. Stop treating us like we're morons.

We want all of you to stop focusing on your reelection and do the job we want done, not the job you want done or the job your party wants done. You work for us and at this rate I guarantee you not for long because we are coming. We will be heard and we will be represented. You think we're so busy with our lives that we will never come for you? We are the formerly silent majority, all of us who quietly work , pay taxes, obey the law, vote, save money, keep our noses to the grindstone and we are now looking up at you. You have awakened us, the patriotic spirit so strong and so powerful that it had been sleeping too long. You have pushed us too far. Our numbers are great. They may surprise you. For every one of us who will be there, there will be hundreds more that could not come. Unlike you, we have their trust. We will represent them honestly, rest assured. They will be at the polls on voting day to usher you out of office. We have cancelled vacations. We will use our last few dollars saved. We will find the representation among us and a grassroots campaign will flourish. We didn't ask for this fight. But the gloves are coming off. We do not come in violence, but we are angry. You will represent us or you will be replaced with someone who will. There are candidates among us when hewill rise like a Phoenix from the ashes that you have made of our constitution.

Democrat, Republican, independent, libertarian. Understand this. We don't care. Political parties are meaningless to us. Patriotic Americans are willing to do right by us and our Constitution and that is all that matters to us now. We are going to fire all of you who abuse power and seek more. It is not your power. It is ours and we want it back. We entrusted you with it and you abused it. You are dishonorable. You are dishonest. As Americans we are ashamed of you. You have brought shame to us. If you are not representing the wants and needs of your constituency loudly and consistently, in spite of the objections of your party, you will be fired. Did you hear? We no longer care about your political parties. You need to be loyal to us, not to them. Because we will get you fired and they will not save you. If you do or can represent me, my issues, my views, please stand up. Make your identity known. You need to make some noise about it. Speak up. I need to know who you are. If you do not speak up, you will be herded out with the rest of the sheep and we will replace the whole damn congress if need be one by one. We are coming. Are we coming for you? Who do you represent? What do you represent? Listen. Because we are coming. We the people are coming.

Posted on glennbeck.com, from his radio show on June 19, 2009

Excellent Video - Must See and Spread it Around!

2009-06-15T15:25:00.000-07:00

I have been volunteering at our local pregnancy center for about 10 months now. I am still in training to become a counsellor. One of the requirements is to view the collection of videos. Today I watched two. This one I am advertising today is fascinating, a must-see and must advertise video. Take some time. Watch and pass this on!

Do you teach Sunday School?

2009-06-15T06:22:00.000-07:00

I do both and I really don't like a lot a curriculum out there (too stifling, boring, stupid questions to ask the kids) so I end up designing something on the cuff, on my own. It didn't take long for my well off ideas to dry up so I searched the internet. I found a site that emails me an idea for next Sunday's children sermon every Monday. It's a great service. They leave enough room for you to tailor the talk to your needs: timing, size of group, age of group, etc. They also include coloring and puzzle pages you can print out. So I recommend to you: sermons4kids.com

Divisive Politics

2009-06-09T06:58:00.000-07:00

I'm just gonna lay it out there because it was my initial reaction: people are idiots.

Okay, now tone it down a bit: some people are idiots but they're the ones with the megaphones!

Now full disclosure: I like Sarah Palin. I admire her. I've read what she's done for Alaska. I'm impressed (and a bit jealous living here in Democrat mega country Illinois!). She has ideas which mirror mine. She appears to be ethical, and honest, forthright.

The media does not share my admiration and it seems also "some people".

Sarah was in New York to celebrate Seward's purchasing of Alaska. CNN.com had a short video about her trip. I watched the video and then read the comments. Oh...My. There is such INTENSE hatred for this woman. But what was disturbing, ridiculously disheartening were the right-out attacks on her person, not her politics. Here are a few (and in all honesty they reflect the majority of what I read):

June 8th, 2009 12:15 pm ET

Sarah Palin is a science experiment that went terribly wrong!

June 8th, 2009 12:00 pm ET

WHY is this woman still in the news?

How in the world she was EVER elected to public office is a mystery. Shouldn't an IQ test be required before someone runs? There are a lot of intelligent people holding public office. Unfortunately, Alaska's governor isn't one of them.

June 8th, 2009 11:56 am ET

I bet the Ny people were not happy to have this redneck hillbilly visit. Them. There's a big difference between the 'non-social' alaskan people and the people in NY who are use to a big social crowd. I think Sarah and the Republibrats are done as the people of america are tired of these morons who really don't care about the people of america and only care about themselves and there stubborn egos. Sorry sarah, you're just wasting your time. The people who are going to vote for you ain't going to be enough because the current man in the white house is getting the job done and WILL get reelected. You are the weakest link. Doodbye

June 8th, 2009 11:36 am ET

Who cares? She's still an idiot!!!

June 8th, 2009 11:35 am ET

This woman is stinky. Right-wing garbage

June 8th, 2009 11:35 am ET

If Palin is in the running for a presidential run, it shows the sorry state of this country. The woman is a boob

June 8th, 2009 10:47 am ET

i can't stomach anything about this woman. it is painful listening to her trying to put a sentance together. why she has a following is beyond me. what a laughing stock she would make if she tries to run for any office.

And there were a handful like this:

June 8th, 2009 9:49 am ET

I love this woman and her intelligent toughness–the most smeared and feared woman in the USA by the liberals and she is still walking tall! The democrats smeared her even worse than they smeared Hillary Clinton and she stood up to it! No weakness and bowing to terrorists (liberal media) here! Come on down Iran and North Korea! Meet a strong US Representative of the people of America. You can't be any meaner than the liberal USA media!

But this was the worst. appalling and unnecessary comment from Bill Nancy in KY:

June 8th, 2009 12:21 pm ET

The Bible thumpers might love her, but those of us that believe in civil liberties are terrified, of the likes of her! I personally feel that someone who bears mongoloid children, doesn't have the genetic make-up to be President! Please go back to Alaska and preach your hate there. The lower 48 don't need to hear your rants!

There was no substance in these criticisms. There were no specific attacks against her policies/politics. And many comments danced around Tina Fey's imitation from SNL, or other lies spewed out from the internet.

Is there any hope for our country when our citizens are so divided and divisive? Once again I must remind myself my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus Christ, His righteousness.

Dr. Winter

2009-05-21T18:18:00.000-07:00

I don't know what happens when you get to heaven. I think what we can imagine pales in comparison with reality. But I believe God is giving thanks to a faithful servant who passed into that realm last night.

Dr. Ralph Winter was a distant mentor of mine for many, many years. His youngest daughter and I attended the same high school (in fact it was her invitation to her youth group's winter camp that led me to a deeper and vibrant relationship with God). I would spend many days and nights at the Winter household. After my parent's divorced I secretly looked to Ralph and Roberta as my second parents. I learned about God, praying, the world, and what earnest discipleship looked like by volunteering at the U.S. Center for World Mission.

Dr. Winter always looked outside the box. He modeled thinking creatively and using all your God-given talents to bring the gospel to those who have never heard the gospel. If there's one thing I could say I learned from the Winters it would be to think big, dream big and pray big. With no money, no prospects of money, no idea of what the future would hold they trusted their future to God and stepped forward to purchase a former college campus in north Pasadena for the sole purpose of being a center whose focus would be bringing the gospel to the "unreached". No idea was too big or too small. God was (is) big and worthy in Dr. Winter's mind. Looking back as a 19, 20 even 21 year old introvert with low self-esteem I did not appreciate or even understand the magnitude of the work at the U.S. Center. But now I see a bit, a glimpse of the greatness of God which Dr. Winter understood and was compelled to see others equipped to bring that understanding around the world.

He was innovative and never stopped questioning and trailblazing - thinking outside the box.

I have felt this before, when great men and women of God have passed over - a bit of jealousy, a bit of wonder. Dr. Winter is whole. He is who God designed him to be, in all God's glory. Dr. Winter is at peace. Dr. Winter is home.

The Great Banquet

2009-05-11T15:27:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I attended the Great Banquet. You may recall I attended my first banquet last November and was totally blown away, touched by God, healed of hurts, and gleeful with the Holy Spirit. This Great Banquet I had a role other than simple participant or "guest". I was a table leader.

My responsibilities included encouraging discussion after each talk, being available to the "guests" for prayer, and being mindful of their needs, etc. Whereas my first weekend the emphasis or focus was on God and me, this past weekend it was God and those around me. But, as the cliche' goes, God works in mysterious ways...He wonders to behold, and He had His way with me.

During our final worship service Jack was teaching and I could, almost literally, feel a presence on my shoulders, whispering in my ear: criticisms, harsh words, and negativity. It had plagued me all weekend but Sunday night I could recognize and name it. I also could say, "get away" because I had had enough of it. And just as I had felt that presence on my shoulders, once I said, "GO!", I felt that it was gone. Immediately my mind was filled with prayers for Jack - prayers for his teaching, prayers for those receiving his teaching, prayers for those who had been with me that weekend. I was not focused on criticizing and tearing apart but because the Holy Spirit was directing my thoughts, I was focused on others.

It is an easy thing to see the worst in people, to find those little chinks, or better yet, the splinters. It takes effort and will to seek the best, to hold them up and use God's eyes. I have for far too long been lazy. I am thankful that God does not let me stay in that lazy state. He shakes me up and reveals those chinks I have and gives me the will the give them up. Whether it's the sin of overeating, criticizing, greed, depending on financial security instead of His provision, If I let Him He will be about His work of purifying me, making me holy, making me to be who I am called to be in Him. He doesn't let me go. He doesn't let me wallow. He reveals sin and gives me the will to ask Him to deal with it. That's a good Father. It's called discipline. It's called love.

I Don't Understand...

2009-05-07T06:08:00.000-07:00

the appeal of Twitter. Call me a ludite. It seems it's a lot of work for little information. How do people twitter? Whenever I'm on a page I think, "do these people spend all there time twittering, wishing they could twitter more, or scheming of ways to get away and twitter?"

Seriously. All you do is post short, supposedly pithy messages. How can you get to your computer, ipod, handheld gadget, or whatever...and post so much. It seems consuming. I don't belong to anyones twitter page so I have no idea what happens when you do belong and that person twitters - do you receive an email: "so and so twittered, read here." That seems like it would be rather annoying, another email I have to deal with, read then trash!

Boy do I sound like a grumpy ludite.

But I was just thinking about this as I linked to someone's twitter page (after they stopped blogging and now rely on twitter so relay the life commentary to the world).

From Where Comes My Joy

2009-04-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

This morning's reading in my Mother Angelica's Pithy Lessons from Scripture book was based on John 16:21-22. Jesus likens his approaching departure with childbirth: a mother suffers for a bit and than is filled with joy because her child is with her, born. Mother Angelica meditated on joy and the difference between it and happiness. What struck me was this:

Look, you can always do better, but to be satisfied with what God is doing in your life, that brings joy. (emphasis mine).

I can work to be a better cook, exercise more, pray more, read more, do more...but still be empty. When I raise my hands in surrender and say, "Not my will, but Thy will," I am depending on His work, not mine. His work is complete. It satisfies. It does the job. True contentment comes when I surrender, when I allow His work in and through me to complete me. This is a life-learning lesson. Embracing it is the beginning of that lesson, realizing it's not my work but what He's done that brings salvation. I will continually be dissatisfied if I rely on my work to fill me with happiness, joy and purpose. Resting on my laurels is not an adequate goal. And God knows me best, He knows my circumstances, my relations, my past, present and future. Resting in Him and trusting in what He is doing in my life - that is where I find joy.

Going Off Line

2009-04-16T04:53:00.000-07:00

My husband and his computer are leaving town. So Sad. I'll let you guess for which one.

But I wanted to say before I am isolated from the web world that the msm's reaction to the tea parties is flabbergasting. The Dept. of Homeland Security lays out a report warning of right-wing extremism two days prior to the planned protests. Is there a connection? I believe so. I believe the administration wants to discredit the protesters as illegitimate whack jobs so:

1) the protesters' opinions can more easily be rejected as unwarranted

2) the administration has a better line of reasoning for keeping tabs on organizers of these protest and those who attend

3) the administration can distance themselves from differing opinions (which hold that they are fiscally inept) conversely legitimatizing their policies

Yeah, I know...it sounds so conspiratorial. But I've been to a tea party. I have a friend who's organized a protest. She isn't fronting some right wing web-sites or being funded by a corporation, and doesn't work for FOX news. This administration and the main-stream media just don't get it. They are both inept - at their jobs and at understanding the people they work for. I'm having trouble uploading video right now but there is some outrageous reporting from ABC, CBS, NBC and CNN. I hesitate to say reporting because these segments are more like opinion pieces. One reported from CNN claims the protest in Chicago was organized by FOX news and anti-CNN! Does she not get it or what!!! This is maddening what has happened to our fifth estate.

So I need some peace in my life. Going off line is probably God's way of reminding me, "Hey, I'm in charge. Relax. Trust. Be at peace."

We can now become who we were meant to be-right standing with God

2009-04-11T07:02:00.000-07:00

We sang one of my favorite hymns last night, and our community-wide Good Friday service: The Wondrous Cross. The last line of the last verse is particularly compelling to me:

Love so amazing, so divine demands my soul, my life, my all.

The cross is God's amazing love for us. It compels us to respond. Only those who are dead are incapable of responding. If you are dead you can do nothing. But by the grace of God, by His dying on the cross and rising on the third day, defeating sin and death forever, we can become alive - in Him. Apart from Him we are dead. This generosity demands response. It demands not selfishly but because it is lavish and generous that a Thank You must follow.

This Sunday we celebrate our Thank You. We are overwhelmed by His generosity. We are in awe of His love for us - so amazing!

This past week I've been reading Romans from the Message version of the Bible. For me it's easier to read Paul in the Message. These verse stood out to me, touched me to the core, as the message of the Resurrection.

God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity He put us in right standing with Himself. A pure gift.
He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where He always wanted us to be. And He did it by means of Jesus Christ.
God sacrificed Jesus on the Altar of the world to clear the world of sin. Having faith in Him sets us in the clear.
God decided on the course of action in full view of the public - to set the world in the clear with Himself through the sacrifice of Jesus finally taking care of the sins He had so patiently endured.
God does no respond to what we do - we respond to what God does - Our lives get in step with God.
When everything was hopeless Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn't do but on what God said He would do.
The sacrificed Jesus made us fit for God - set us right with God.
He didn't and doesn't wait for us to get ready. He presented Himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready.
There is no longer a question of being at odds with God in anyway.
What God has always wanted to do for us - set us right with Him - make us fit for Him.
Our old way of life is nailed to the cross. A decisive end to that sin-miserable life.
Sin speaks a dead language that means nothing to you. God speaks your mother-tongue.
Don't give sin a vote in the way you conduct your life.
All your lives you've let sin tell you what to do. But thank God your started listening to a new master, one whose commands set you free.
In His son, Jesus, He personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all.
When God lives and breathes in you you are delivered from that dead life.
God's Spirit beckons!
God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are!
He knows us far better than we know ourselves.
That's why we can be sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Reasons for a large kitchen

2009-04-10T13:06:00.001-07:00

Fearful feelings

2009-03-20T05:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm not so much fearful as I am apprehensive to discuss my feelings about this administration. But I am so frustrated, so angry, so annoyed, so ticked-off and really wonder what I can do about their incompetency and short-sighted idiocy. I've written my congressmen and the president. My opinions hold no sway. I attended the St. Louis Tea Party, which revealed to myself how I am not a demonstrative, picketing person. But this AIG bonus blow-up has just ticked me off. No, not that these executives received bonuses but that Congress and even our president our "Acting" stunned that the executives would receive bonuses. You see, it was in the bill that our congress and our president signed that the executives would receive these bonuses. They knew. They knew weeks ago. (Or perhaps they didn't know because no body read it! And that's even more infuriating!) And now they "ACT" all indignant and high and mighty. It's bull. Pure, simple bull. And it keeps coming. They're rhetoric is tiring and insincere.

But what I'm fearful about is this report that apparently if I harbor these feelings of disgust I could be considered a domestic terrorist. I wonder if the White House, in it's recent display of going after individual commentators/journalists, is searching for other disgruntled citizens. Is there a congressional watch-dog group ready to round-up those who speak ill of their efforts through letter-writing, blogging, attending demonstrations, etc? What is a concerned citizen to do? Thomas Paine said we need Common Sense. Some guy pretending to be Thomas Paine brings it to the 21st century.

Shephard Smith had a great reaction. Thankfully he's on the air and heard by millions.

To end, I am not fearful. My hope is in the One who holds all governments. He is the beginning and the end. He loves His creation. He loves me. His ways are for my good and when I fall into them I live in peace and contentment regardless of the situations around me. I trust in Jesus.

St. Patrick's Breastplate

2009-03-17T06:09:00.000-07:00

I bind to myself today
The strong virtue of the Invocation of the Trinity:
I believe the Trinity in the Unity
The Creator of the Universe.

I bind to myself today
The virtue of the Incarnation of Christ with His Baptism,
The virtue of His crucifixion with His burial,
The virtue of His Resurrection with His Ascension,
The virtue of His coming on the Judgement Day.

I bind to myself today
The virtue of the love of seraphim,
In the obedience of angels,
In the hope of resurrection unto reward,
In prayers of Patriarchs,
In predictions of Prophets,
In preaching of Apostles,
In faith of Confessors,
In purity of holy Virgins,
In deeds of righteous men.

I bind to myself today
The power of Heaven,
The light of the sun,
The brightness of the moon,
The splendour of fire,
The flashing of lightning,
The swiftness of wind,
The depth of sea,
The stability of earth,
The compactness of rocks.

I bind to myself today
God's Power to guide me,
God's Might to uphold me,
God's Wisdom to teach me,
God's Eye to watch over me,
God's Ear to hear me,
God's Word to give me speech,
God's Hand to guide me,
God's Way to lie before me,
God's Shield to shelter me,
God's Host to secure me,
Against the snares of demons,
Against the seductions of vices,
Against the lusts of nature,
Against everyone who meditates injury to me,
Whether far or near,
Whether few or with many.

I invoke today all these virtues
Against every hostile merciless power
Which may assail my body and my soul,
Against the incantations of false prophets,
Against the black laws of heathenism,
Against the false laws of heresy,
Against the deceits of idolatry,
Against the spells of women, and smiths, and druids,
Against every knowledge that binds the soul of man.

Christ, protect me today
Against every poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against death-wound,
That I may receive abundant reward.

Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ within me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ at my right, Christ at my left,
Christ in the fort, [i.e., at home]
Christ in the chariot seat, [i.e., travelling by land]
Christ in the poop. [i.e., travelling by water]

Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks to me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

I bind to myself today
The strong virtue of an invocation of the Trinity,
I believe the Trinity in the Unity
The Creator of the Universe.

Lenten Fasts Becoming New Habits

2009-03-15T08:45:00.000-07:00

Of course there is always a bright side to Lent. It may seem hard, uncomfortable and not fun but from the perspective of growth it is good.

Lent, and the giving up of things reveals my flesh. It enforces the truth that I am a whiny, selfish, indulgent, and desperate sinner who needs grace. I experienced headaches the first two days of Lent. That physical manifestation of my "fast" helped me to blatantly identify with Christ's sufferings. As I type that I think, "How pompous and trivial -- identify with Christ's sufferings because I'm 'suffering' headaches from caffeine withdrawal. What gall!" But it is in the little steps of obedience that draw me closer to appreciating, admiring and adoring Christ's act of obedience. And somehow, and I believe this is good, I embrace the pain (however minor it truly was in the grand scope of things) and I looked forward to that pounding, grinding tension headache because for me, the physical is more real and tangible than the spiritual. And now the pain is gone. Can I still identify and adore?

I am reading Mother Angelica's Private and Pithy Lessons from the Scriptures. When studying Ruth Mother aptly and truthfully reports that obedience is only obedience when you are doing something you don't want to do. My headaches are gone now so I don't notice the physical effects of my Lenten fast. I wonder if this will make the purpose of the fast less effective. I get used to the new habit of no coffee and then life goes on per usual. So I suppose now, instead of relying on the physical-ness of Lent I need to dig deeper. I still miss my coffee and when I sniff Dave's brew in the morning I am reminded of what I gave up and why. I ponder why I gave up and that leads me to meditate on all Jesus gave up when He came down to us. I know my identification is small but during these 40 days it is magnified.

The trouble with the fast is it is a new habit and soon I don't even recognize it as a fast - it is my usual, the norm. When I was attempting the No S Diet I plastered No S Diet signs all over the kitchen to remind me that I:
1) Don't Snack
2) Don't Eat Sweets
3) Don't have seconds
4) And only have sweets on days that begin with S (basically the weekends)
Sooner than I anticipated I became oblivious to those signs. I didn't even notice them and sooner than I desired I forgot about the goals of that new diet and was snacking, eating sweets and imbibing on seconds. Something I thought would encourage my new habit got lost in the mundane.

How do I guard my Lenten Fast from this same trap? I suppose that is why the Fast stops on the Sabbath. On Sundays, according to church teachings, Lenten fasting is not required because Sundays are mini-Resurrection celebrations. So I enjoy a cup (or two - or three) on Sunday. When Monday hits the fast starts up again and, even though there is no headache, physically I recall how I enjoyed that java yesterday and the emotions, the identification is fresh and renewed.

So if you are fasting during Lent remember to stop on Sundays so that Monday is a new day to embrace your initial motivation for beginning your fast.

Spending Time Alone

2009-03-06T16:03:00.001-08:00

My sister celebrated her 53rd birthday yesterday in a way which was shocking at first and then when I heard more, a little envy-inspiring. She went to Disneyland -- alone.

We grew up in Southern California and whenever extended family came for visits we naturally took them to the "happiest place on earth." So, needless to say, I have fond memories of Walt's amusement park.

Apparently Disneyland offers a free entrance on birthdays. Pauline took advantage of this but decided she was going to see a side of Disneyland most parents never enjoy - shops and music. Dixieland, barbershop quartets, glass-blowing demonstrations...what kid would journey forth to see these? Not...any!

I was impressed with Pauline, (after feeling pity) than jealous. She had the courage (Yes in my book it takes courage to go somewhere by yourself where famillies dominate) to walk down Main Street alone, sit in New Orleans Square and enjoy.

Pauline said those hours alone caused her to appreciate her family more. I only do Walmart alone. Maybe Target. Those excursions don't allow such a feeling. I truly believe there is a boldness in doing such activities on one's own. I'm not there yet. I think I would like to be yet I also think I would quickly wallow in loneliness and yearn for the sound of "Mom!"