Thursday, February 22, 2007

When will and desire kiss

When someone can get their will and desire to agree will you tell me how they did it?

I have such a strong desire to be disciplined and self-controlled. My children truly desire to be obedient. I REALLY want to love unselfishly.

But those desires are gone when the will takes over and says, You deserve it, go ahead, no one else will care about you!

Lent, if anything else, brings my sinful-self into full view. Hey, ain't that what the law is supposed to do? Sunday I was all ready to begin the Lenten season, armed, equipped with desire to purge the flesh of selfish wants, focusing only on needs, thinking of the world, how much we have vs. have much they don't have.

This is so stupid, it's embarrassing to bring up. But I will anyway. Last night, as I was putting the dishes away, I noticed the 3 ferrero rocher candies left from Valentines. HMMM! Chocolate hazelnut....HMMMM! But it's Ash Wednesday. The beginning of Lent. What a weak person I am if I can't even control my gluttony for 24 hours! HMMM! No, I slammed the cupboard and said, No! I walked away and prayed God, help my weakness because it is sooo strong.
And that's what fasting, sacrificing (even in that trivial moment over chocolate) is for? Leaning on him for all strength. That is what Lent is for, and just Advents does, creating in me a yearning, a groaning and craving for the world to come - anticipating His return and all the burden released.

So it's only Thursday.... The kids and I are going through the lectionary for Bible Study and using the Divine Hours for prayer. It feels a little stiff, haven't got the rhythm down yet but reading through Old Testament, Psalms, Gospels and Epistles is rich and meaty.

Joel 2:1-3,

Blow the ram's horn trumpet in Zion!

Trumpet the alarm on my holy mountain!

Shake the country up!

God's Judgment's on its way—the Day's almost here! A black day! A Doomsday!

Clouds with no silver lining! Like dawn light moving over the mountains,

a huge army is coming. There's never been anything like it and never will be again.

Wildfire burns everything before this army and fire licks up everything in its wake.Before it arrives, the country is like the Garden of Eden.

When it leaves, it is Death Valley. Nothing escapes unscathed.

Joel 2:12-17

But there's also this, it's not too late—God's personal Message!—"Come back to me and really mean it! Come fasting and weeping, sorry for your sins!"

Change your life, not just your clothes. Come back to God, your God.

And here's why: God is kind and merciful. He takes a deep breath, puts up with a lot,

This most patient God, extravagant in love, always ready to cancel catastrophe.

Who knows? Maybe he'll do it now, maybe he'll turn around and show pity.

Maybe, when all's said and done, there'll be blessings full and robust for your God!
Blow the ram's horn trumpet in Zion! Declare a day of repentance, a holy fast day.

Call a public meeting. Get everyone there. Consecrate the congregation.

Make sure the elders come, but bring in the children, too, even the nursing babies,

Even men and women on their honeymoon—interrupt them and get them there.

Between Sanctuary entrance and altar, let the priests, God's servants, weep tears of repentance.

Let them intercede: "Have mercy, God, on your people! Don't abandon your heritage to contempt.

Don't let the pagans take over and rule them and sneer, 'And so where is this God of theirs?'"


Courtney said...

throw the chocolate away! outside if you can. Lean on God, and use your trashcan :)
leaving it in plain view is just asking too much.
love ya !

Dave said...

my wife rocks...

Valerie said...

Ya know what? "I was just thinking about this!"

I'll write more later. Barbie, I love your blog, and buy the way, I hate using the word 'blog" because it seems to me to be such an ugly word for something that is so beautiful, meaningful, and articulate, your writing, that is.

I am so proud of you.