Thursday, April 05, 2007

Snippy and Annoyed

I'm feeling rather snippy and annoyed today. There are numerous reasons why: The weather has turned cold and I know that means a head cold coming on; I made a goal to eat only 2 pieces of bread, and had 4 instead; I have several tasks I need to do for church and I don't know when I can accomplish them; we're having company this weekend and my house is a disaster; no matter how much I clean the house is still a disaster; I discovered new pencil markings on a previously unmarked wall this morning; someone spilled something on the carpet, in a corner, who knows when, and I just found that too; my skin is rather dry and itchy today; I've been reading alot of blogs that center around the role of women in the church - some I agree with and some which anger me to no end.

SO that along with untold other issues...I'm feeling snippy and annoyed. Now, in this state it is best to leave me alone and let me analyze why I feel this way and work it out (and that's what this blog is for too). Probably the fact that this is holy week has a little something to do with it too. At the beginning of this week I blogged about the church in Nigeria. It's now Thursday and I'm blogging a pity party for myself. I'm just so pathetic!

I'm sure you've experienced this, every Sunday morning - everyone is rushing around to get ready for church, last minute ironing, too many in the bathroom, one person won't get out of bed, I haven't had my needed cup of tea. Well that's how I'm feeling today.

When there is a "spiritual" moment set aside for myself, my family, it seems the flesh screams out for attention. When I draw nearer to a time for soulful reflection my selfishness is so much more apparent. That is what the law was there for - to throw in our face how much we cannot do IT on our own. I cannot attain righteousness by making my mind slow down and say, "Okay, now be spiritual, think right thoughts, be meditative, be righteous." My mind immediately blares out, "Heck no, not me, don't tell me what to do, who the #$% are you!" (Can you tell I'm snippy and annoyed?)

There is so much for which I should be grateful - and I am. Yet I don't live it. A fabulous blogger (heatheronthenet.com/confessions) wrote a story about her time singing "I Surrender All" amidst a congregation who truly had surrendered all. She however, was unwilling to give up wearing shorts - a matter of pride. She detailed a few members of the congregation who had given up anxiety and independence by trusting in God to supply ALL their needs. One man hadn't eaten in 3 days because he had no money and continued to trust God to provide.

Now reading stories like Heather's helps me get out of my snippy and annoyed slump - when I quit focusing on ME and focus on HIM and OTHERS.

Today in the mail we received the newsletter from a church we attended in Colorado. The pastor's message is so appropriate for my day. He highlighted Hebrews 12:1-3 which I will be taking to heart this weekend and meditating on day and night:

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start runningand never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

3 comments:

Suzanne said...

Oookaaay...so we won't show up unexpectedly for that wonderful sounding Easter dinner. Better check Dave's blog..listing the menu can be dangerous!!Hope you've had your cup of Tetleys and have had a chance to relax alittle...cold there?..it's snowing here..hope it's not moving your way. You've talked your way through Barbie and you know exactly where your focus is to be...on Him and others. It is a journey..sometimes fast...sometimes not so fast. Thanks for reminding and pointing us to Jesus. Love you!!

Valerie said...

No wonder you didn't call me back last night!

The varied and colored fonts look a little unibomberesque. Maybe it's a good idea you didn't call. I'm leaving now.
(Valerie slinks away)

Nairobi Paul said...

Great entry, Barb.

Heather in Kenya is indeed an excellent blogger.

And I'm thankful for your excellent blog too!

Happy easter.