SO that along with untold other issues...I'm feeling snippy and annoyed. Now, in this state it is best to leave me alone and let me analyze why I feel this way and work it out (and that's what this blog is for too). Probably the fact that this is holy week has a little something to do with it too. At the beginning of this week I blogged about the church in Nigeria. It's now Thursday and I'm blogging a pity party for myself. I'm just so pathetic!
I'm sure you've experienced this, every Sunday morning - everyone is rushing around to get ready for church, last minute ironing, too many in the bathroom, one person won't get out of bed, I haven't had my needed cup of tea. Well that's how I'm feeling today.
When there is a "spiritual" moment set aside for myself, my family, it seems the flesh screams out for attention. When I draw nearer to a time for soulful reflection my selfishness is so much more apparent. That is what the law was there for - to throw in our face how much we cannot do IT on our own. I cannot attain righteousness by making my mind slow down and say, "Okay, now be spiritual, think right thoughts, be meditative, be righteous." My mind immediately blares out, "Heck no, not me, don't tell me what to do, who the #$% are you!" (Can you tell I'm snippy and annoyed?)
There is so much for which I should be grateful - and I am. Yet I don't live it. A fabulous blogger (heatheronthenet.com/confessions) wrote a story about her time singing "I Surrender All" amidst a congregation who truly had surrendered all. She however, was unwilling to give up wearing shorts - a matter of pride. She detailed a few members of the congregation who had given up anxiety and independence by trusting in God to supply ALL their needs. One man hadn't eaten in 3 days because he had no money and continued to trust God to provide.
Now reading stories like Heather's helps me get out of my snippy and annoyed slump - when I quit focusing on ME and focus on HIM and OTHERS.
Today in the mail we received the newsletter from a church we attended in Colorado. The pastor's message is so appropriate for my day. He highlighted Hebrews 12:1-3 which I will be taking to heart this weekend and meditating on day and night:
Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!