20 Years

20 years ago I made promises. In my heart I believed those promises would be easy to keep. I was in love. Crazy in love. I promised my hopes and dreams, ups and downs, sickness and health to one man. I gazed into his eyes and rested in our future. I prayed God would lead us, God would protect us and God would bless us.

20 years later I have learned love grows stronger when trust is given more and more room. Love grows deeper when God is given greater significance and love grows real when I step back from my wants and look to my husband's, when I get outside of myself and consider him.

I am thankful that Dave follows God, not me, and not himself. In these 20 years, because of who we are following, I have learned that marriage, and probably in a broader sense - life, is about surrender. Surrender involves trust. It involves confidence. When I surrender to Dave in matters of consequence it demonstrates my trust and confidence in him and vice versa. We have struggled through many decisions, these past 20 years. Looking back I see the struggles were mostly about surrendering, my will for his (and His). A verse which should be tattooed on my arm, it has been so significant these past years is Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

For our good! Not an easy road. Not a sweet, cushy and comfortable journey. Life is about sanctification - getting holy, wholly with God by understanding and entering into holiness. Marriage does that. Because of my decision 20 years ago I have walked through 20 years of wondering, frustration, bliss, doubt, frustration, anger, assurance, blessing, peace, mercy and grace.

Thanks D, for talking me down this road. There is no other man on this planet I would chose to walk beside. You are my soulmate. And if we do have another 20 years, Lord knows where we will go and what we will learn but I do know it will be good.