Snippy and Annoyed

I'm feeling rather snippy and annoyed today. There are numerous reasons why: The weather has turned cold and I know that means a head cold coming on; I made a goal to eat only 2 pieces of bread, and had 4 instead; I have several tasks I need to do for church and I don't know when I can accomplish them; we're having company this weekend and my house is a disaster; no matter how much I clean the house is still a disaster; I discovered new pencil markings on a previously unmarked wall this morning; someone spilled something on the carpet, in a corner, who knows when, and I just found that too; my skin is rather dry and itchy today; I've been reading alot of blogs that center around the role of women in the church - some I agree with and some which anger me to no end.

SO that along with untold other issues...I'm feeling snippy and annoyed. Now, in this state it is best to leave me alone and let me analyze why I feel this way and work it out (and that's what this blog is for too). Probably the fact that this is holy week has a little something to do with it too. At the beginning of this week I blogged about the church in Nigeria. It's now Thursday and I'm blogging a pity party for myself. I'm just so pathetic!

I'm sure you've experienced this, every Sunday morning - everyone is rushing around to get ready for church, last minute ironing, too many in the bathroom, one person won't get out of bed, I haven't had my needed cup of tea. Well that's how I'm feeling today.

When there is a "spiritual" moment set aside for myself, my family, it seems the flesh screams out for attention. When I draw nearer to a time for soulful reflection my selfishness is so much more apparent. That is what the law was there for - to throw in our face how much we cannot do IT on our own. I cannot attain righteousness by making my mind slow down and say, "Okay, now be spiritual, think right thoughts, be meditative, be righteous." My mind immediately blares out, "Heck no, not me, don't tell me what to do, who the #$% are you!" (Can you tell I'm snippy and annoyed?)

There is so much for which I should be grateful - and I am. Yet I don't live it. A fabulous blogger (heatheronthenet.com/confessions) wrote a story about her time singing "I Surrender All" amidst a congregation who truly had surrendered all. She however, was unwilling to give up wearing shorts - a matter of pride. She detailed a few members of the congregation who had given up anxiety and independence by trusting in God to supply ALL their needs. One man hadn't eaten in 3 days because he had no money and continued to trust God to provide.

Now reading stories like Heather's helps me get out of my snippy and annoyed slump - when I quit focusing on ME and focus on HIM and OTHERS.

Today in the mail we received the newsletter from a church we attended in Colorado. The pastor's message is so appropriate for my day. He highlighted Hebrews 12:1-3 which I will be taking to heart this weekend and meditating on day and night:

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

Continuing with Lent

We're in week three of Lent. How are you doing? What are you doing?
Our family is still using Hillbilly Housewife (www.hillbillyhousewife.com) $45/week menu. Lots of beans and some in the family are tired of it -- IAN! Last night was tuna-noodle casserole. He said it looks disgusting. You'd think I'd spoiled him with rib-eye steaks, roasted vegetables and tart tatins every night.

I do love commemorating these days, like Lent and Advent. But it seems there is a plethora of resources for celebrating Advent but very few for Lent. Lent can be an austere time, and hence the lack of "celebrating" it. We are preparing first to remember the sacrifice that Jesus made, and then the resurrection.

The kids and I are reading the lectionary and praying through the Divine Hours. Reminds me of our days at St. John's in Vancouver.

But there are no Lent calendars, wreaths, visual count-downs for the season. Or are there? Do you know of any family-friendly ways to remember Lent? Or is Lent even a significant season for you?

When will and desire kiss

When someone can get their will and desire to agree will you tell me how they did it?

I have such a strong desire to be disciplined and self-controlled. My children truly desire to be obedient. I REALLY want to love unselfishly.

But those desires are gone when the will takes over and says, You deserve it, go ahead, no one else will care about you!

Lent, if anything else, brings my sinful-self into full view. Hey, ain't that what the law is supposed to do? Sunday I was all ready to begin the Lenten season, armed, equipped with desire to purge the flesh of selfish wants, focusing only on needs, thinking of the world, how much we have vs. have much they don't have.

This is so stupid, it's embarrassing to bring up. But I will anyway. Last night, as I was putting the dishes away, I noticed the 3 ferrero rocher candies left from Valentines. HMMM! Chocolate hazelnut....HMMMM! But it's Ash Wednesday. The beginning of Lent. What a weak person I am if I can't even control my gluttony for 24 hours! HMMM! No, I slammed the cupboard and said, No! I walked away and prayed God, help my weakness because it is sooo strong.

And that's what fasting, sacrificing (even in that trivial moment over chocolate) is for? Leaning on him for all strength. That is what Lent is for, and just Advents does, creating in me a yearning, a groaning and craving for the world to come - anticipating His return and all the burden released.

So it's only Thursday.... The kids and I are going through the lectionary for Bible Study and using the Divine Hours for prayer. It feels a little stiff, haven't got the rhythm down yet but reading through Old Testament, Psalms, Gospels and Epistles is rich and meaty.

Joel 2:1-3,

Blow the ram's horn trumpet in Zion!

Trumpet the alarm on my holy mountain!

Shake the country up!

God's Judgment's on its way—the Day's almost here! A black day! A Doomsday!

Clouds with no silver lining! Like dawn light moving over the mountains,

a huge army is coming. There's never been anything like it and never will be again.

Wildfire burns everything before this army and fire licks up everything in its wake.Before it arrives, the country is like the Garden of Eden.

When it leaves, it is Death Valley. Nothing escapes unscathed.

Joel 2:12-17

But there's also this, it's not too late—God's personal Message!—"Come back to me and really mean it! Come fasting and weeping, sorry for your sins!"

Change your life, not just your clothes. Come back to God, your God.

And here's why: God is kind and merciful. He takes a deep breath, puts up with a lot,

This most patient God, extravagant in love, always ready to cancel catastrophe.

Who knows? Maybe he'll do it now, maybe he'll turn around and show pity.

Maybe, when all's said and done, there'll be blessings full and robust for your God!
Blow the ram's horn trumpet in Zion! Declare a day of repentance, a holy fast day.

Call a public meeting. Get everyone there. Consecrate the congregation.

Make sure the elders come, but bring in the children, too, even the nursing babies,

Even men and women on their honeymoon—interrupt them and get them there.

Between Sanctuary entrance and altar, let the priests, God's servants, weep tears of repentance.

Let them intercede: "Have mercy, God, on your people! Don't abandon your heritage to contempt.

Don't let the pagans take over and rule them and sneer, 'And so where is this God of theirs?'"

What Are You Giving Up For Lent?

This Wednesday is Ash Wednesday. Growing up Lent was marked by 3 usual sacrifices: 1) not hitting my sister; 2) not eating chocolate; and 3) not hitting my sister.
Now as a mature(r) believer Lent has more (I hope) significance in my relationship with the LORD. As in Advent, I use Lent as a time to prepare emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus and thus the redemption of my relationship with God.

At lunch this afternoon, as a family, we talked about Ash Wednesday coming up. Emma asked that we not smear ashes on her forehead again, since she had youth group that night and didn't want to draw attention to herself. But we also talked about what to change in our routine so that, come Resurrection Sunday, the celebration would be that much sweeter and appreciated, by the six weeks of foregoing indulgences which have come to be normal in our lives.
So as a family we are taking the time of Lent to go back to basics - eat simply and use that which we save for others.
While blog-surfing and linking to favorite links I came across a blog with some startling statistics that gave me pause:

Today, across the world, 1.3 billion people live on less than one dollar a day; 3 billion live on under two dollars a day; 1.3 billion have no access to clean water; 3 billion have no access to sanitation; 2 billion have no access to electricity. (Globalissues.org "Poverty and Hunger Facts)

30,000 children under the age of 5 die every day from poverty-related issues? That's 210,000 a week or over 10 million a year, if you're counting." (UNICEF State of the World's Children)

Americans spend $110 billion a year on fast food, (Fast Food Nation - Eric Schlosser) and
339 billion dollars a year on their pets. (CNN.com)

Ian, sarcastically, asked "What good will all that do?" when we were discussing living on less during Lent. Our response was to help us be grateful, identify with most of the world and not take our economic freedom/responsibilities for granted. Who knows what else it will do? That will be an ongoing conversation.